And God said, “This shit is cray.”

Let's Go, Don't Wait
Ryan/Brendon, Jon/Spencer | 6400 words | NC-17

It's like a really cheesy horror movie, only no one is going to hack Brendon to pieces with a chainsaw. But being locked in an office building during a storm with his boss who happens to hate him might be just as bad.

Sequel to If It Kills Me, aka the FBI AU where Jon and Spencer are agents and Ryan is their boss. Oh, and Brendon's the brilliant tech guy who didn't get any screen time the first go around. He's getting his due this time. :D

Written exclusively for my amazing, awesome, wonderful siryn99's super special birthday. I LOVE YOU, BB. ♥♥ I have been promising her Ryan/Brendon fic for AGES, including this very fic. LOL BLINK LYRICS.

Thank you to the ever-faithful themoononastick for talking me through things, and to universeunfold for the last-minute beta!


( let's make this last forever )

(It's Not So Much the Words You Say) It's How You Use Your Lips
Panic GSF | 8000 words | NC-17

"You bought a love potion." Brendon's voice piped up out of nowhere, and Spencer would've rolled his eyes had he not been so unbelievably turned on.

So yeah, here's the love potion (i.e. sex pollen, whatevs) fic. This never would've happened without harriet_vane making evil polls and siryn99 coercing me through AIM. Needless to say, this is for both of them. Also, it's quite honestly the porniest thing I have ever written. To everyone who looked this over very kindly--emilyray, insunshine, maple_mahogany, and sinuous_curve--thank you. ♥ Ridiculously long title stolen from We Are Scientists.

( it started like a faint tingling just under his skin )

A Little Piece with You
Authors: foxxcub and lifeslushlips
Pairing(s): Jon/Spencer, Ryan/Brendon, Pete/Patrick
Word Count: 29,169
Rating/Warnings: NC-17
Author Notes: This entire thing goes back to a simple comment I made about how "Holy Spaces" made me want a fic in black and white set in the 1920s. Very special thanks to andwristsintact, clumsygyrl, shleemeri, harriet_vane, and eleanor_lavish for all the betaing, hand-holding, and general cheerleading. Also, many snuggles to everyone who supported us in our little AU endeavor that completely ate our brains and made us desperately want Panic covers of Cole Porter songs.


Summary: The boys form a jazz band at a Chicago speakeasy in the late 1920s. (Mostly, a fic inspired by "I Have Friends in Holy Spaces".)


( I'm just taking in the scenery )

Jon and Spencer Make a Porno
[Jon/Spencer, Pete/Patrick, Ryan/Brendon | 4800 words | NC-17]

"Think of it as, I don't know, donating plasma or something," Jon sighs.

VERY loosely based on the plot for the upcoming Kevin Smith film Zack and Miri Make a Porno. I really have no idea what the actual movie will be like, but it sounds awesome. I also, in no way, pretend to know a thing about the porn industry. (And I'd also like to apologize for making one of the Cab boys a fluffer. *hands*) Beta duties performed by the usual suspects, shleemeri and adellyna.


( This isn't how Spencer saw his life playing out. )

Jon's Bookstore (A Few of My Favorite Things) (1/2)
Jon/Spencer, Frank/Gerard, Ryan/Brendon, Pete/Patrick | 11,300 words | R

A funeral is really the wrong place to learn you've inherited a business.

Merry Christmas, have some bookstore AU full of fluff and angst and spiked eggnog! TONS of thanks to my awesome betas on this: adellyna, siryn99, sweetrecovery, and shleemeri. You guys rock, seriously.



( The store was more than reading, though; it was learning genres and authors and what covers would make Kat smile whenever someone dropped off a sack of unwanted paperbacks )

Guess what? Laura and I wrote baby!OT3 sleepover fic last night. You're shocked, I know.

Been Taken
[Spencer/Brendon/Ryan, 3000 words, NC-17]

by foxxcub & disarm_d

Brendon's never watched porn before. He's not going to tell anyone that he's never watched porn before, but.

Honestly, this started out as all-caps silliness and then...yeah. Baby!Panic, ladies and gents. They rot your brain.

Title: read me like no one else (we'll make them so jealous)
Fandom: bandslash/His Dark Materials crossover
Rating: R
Pairings: Jon/Spencer, Ryan/Brendon, Pete/Patrick
Word Count: 8200
Disclaimer: Didn't happen, and I am not Phillip Pullman.
Summary: Um, Daemons! at the Disco! Or something. In other words, an AU set within the general timeframe of Panic's Nothing Rhymes With Circus tour.
Notes: at the end <3

Also, a quick Daemon Primer for those of you unfamiliar with HDM. :)

( Daemons can strip a person bare. But Ryan tries not to think too deeply on that very often )

So, there's this clip from Flight of the Conchords where Jemaine sings a song to Bret called "Bret You Got It Goin On":



And shleemeri says to me that it would be awesome if one of the Panic boys serenaded someone with it, which lead to me saying "OMG BRENDON TO SPENCER, YES," which then produced, um, not-fic? Or something.

Spencer, You Got It Goin On (not-fic)
[Jon/Spencer, Ryan/Brendon]

I apologize to the FofTC guys. I mean no disrespect.

For shleemeri and fmith


( Would it be gay if I sang you a song? )