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Fic: (It's Not So Much the Words You Say) It's How You Use Your Lips
(It's Not So Much the Words You Say) It's How You Use Your Lips
Panic GSF | 8000 words | NC-17
"You bought a love potion." Brendon's voice piped up out of nowhere, and Spencer would've rolled his eyes had he not been so unbelievably turned on.
So yeah, here's the love potion (i.e. sex pollen, whatevs) fic. This never would've happened without![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
harriet_vane making evil polls and siryn99 coercing me through AIM. Needless to say, this is for both of them. Also, it's quite honestly the porniest thing I have ever written. To everyone who looked this over very kindly--emilyray, insunshine, maple_mahogany, and sinuous_curve--thank you. ♥ Ridiculously long title stolen from We Are Scientists.
"It's what?" Brendon asked, wrinkling his nose at the dark red bottle in Spencer's hand.
"Smelling salts. You know, like doctors had way back in the day?" Spencer squinted at what was left of the peeling, yellowed label, but all he could make out was a couple of letters that were too faded to read. He'd asked the guy in the head shop ("Antiques!" Ryan had insisted) what exactly was in it, and the old man had kind of shrugged and said a couple of kooky old ladies brought it in a few months back.
"Pretty sure they were into that voodoo witchery stuff," the guy had mumbled. "But I figured the bottles could be collectors' items."
The weird little red bottle could have been filled with arsenic for all Spencer knew, but he liked the idea of smelling salts for some reason. Maybe it was left over from when Ryan had gotten him hooked on Sherlock Holmes for a summer.
"Smelling salts aren't a liquid, dude," Brendon said, but he took the bottle and sniffed it anyway.
"And how the fuck would you know?"
"I just do, okay, and you should really throw this shit out. If Zack sees you with this, he'll freak."
This was true, and Spencer knew it. But instead of pouring it out, he sniffed it as well, frowning at the lack of smell, and put the rubber stopper back before setting the bottle on the edge of his bunk.
~~
It started like a faint tingling just under his skin, like an itch he couldn't quite scratch. Spencer felt it not long after leaving the bus, but he didn't think much of it until later, when they were playing a game of hacky sack in the parking lot and Brendon made a crazy kick, sending the bag flying through the air and nearly beaming Spencer in the eye. Only Jon intercepted it at the last minute, which caused him to knock into Spencer, almost chest to chest.
"Saved your life," Jon said, winking at Spencer as he held the bag up, and his hand absently brushed against Spencer's elbow. It was a perfectly normal touch, and it wasn't as if Jon had never winked at him before. But suddenly it felt like...something else. Something more, and Spencer's palms broke into a sweat.
He figured it had to be a side effect of too many nights spent crammed into a bunk and beating off hard and fast to keep anyone from hearing. He was just lonely, that's all, and it certainly didn't have anything to do with being touched.
But at soundcheck, and just as he thought he had himself under control again, Ryan came up behind him backstage and cupped a hand over his neck.
"Hey, you okay?" he whispered against Spencer's ear, his breath warm and brushing softly over his skin. Spencer couldn't help the small shiver; he found himself wanting to lean back against Ryan, turn his head enough to let their mouths meet, and god, where had that thought even come from?
"I...think I might be coming down with something," Spencer mumbled in reply, almost breathless, and quickly ducked out of Ryan's hold and ran to the dressing room.
He shut the door behind him and took a deep breath. Maybe it was the flu, and instead of a fever he was just...horny. Which didn't make any goddamn sense at all, but how else could he explain suddenly wanting to make out with Ryan in public?
There was a tap on the dressing room door, and a second later Brendon said, slightly muffled, "Spence? You in there?"
Good, okay, maybe if he let Brendon in, he could explain what was going on and possibly get an idea of what to do. Spencer opened the door, and he was fully prepared to tell Brendon everything, only he took one look at Brendon's face and forgot what he was about to say.
Brendon's eyes were wide, too wide, nearly all pupil, and his cheeks were bright pink. His lips were shiny, like he'd been licking them constantly.
"I just kissed Jon," he whispered, sounding both horrified and amazed. "Like, just now, on stage." He blinked slowly at Spencer, like he was in a daze. "That's...not normal, right? But I—I felt like I had to."
All the air whooshed out of Spencer's lungs, and he forced himself to swallow hard and ask, voice rough, "What did he do?"
"I think he kissed me back, but I ran off before I could really tell." Brendon leaned closer; they were still standing in the doorway of the dressing room, but Spencer couldn't seem to make himself care at the moment. He couldn't stop staring at Brendon's slick lower lip. "But you know what the weird thing is?"
Spencer laughed, high and breathy. It was all he could do to keep from fisting his hands in Brendon's shirt and hauling him up against his chest. "What, that's not weird?"
"No, that's just it. I'm not freaking out about it." He paused, scraping his teeth over his lip. "And right now, I kind of really need to touch you. Like, a lot."
He didn't wait for Spencer to answer—instead, he backed Spencer into the room and went up a little on his toes so their bodies pressed together as he slid his tongue into Spencer's mouth. He didn't have to wait for Spencer to let him in, because Spencer's gasp accomplished that perfectly.
"What is this, Spence?" Brendon asked in between deep, wet kisses as they stumbled across the room until the back of Spencer's legs hit the edge of a couch. "I should be freaking out, right?"
"Yeah, yeah, you should, I don't know, I just." He cupped both hands over Brendon's cheeks and tilted his head back a little to give Spencer deeper access. He lost his train of thought, could only think more and Brendon. It occurred to him, way in the back of his mind, that he should probably be freaking out as well, but the anxiety from earlier was evaporating quickly, and all that seemed to be left was this intense wanting he couldn't stop.
A loud pounding on the door and Zack's impatient, "You two have five minutes to get your asses to soundcheck!" made them break apart, panting and clinging to each other.
"Soundcheck," Brendon repeated, eyes closed as he nodded his head fervently. "Right. Yes."
Spencer rubbed his fingers absently over his mouth and nudged Brendon toward the door. "C'mon," he said softly. "We'll, um, be discussing this later."
Brendon kept nodding his head. "Later," he breathed. "Right."
~~
Spencer told himself they only had to make it through soundcheck, then they could duck into whatever closet they could find and makeout until the show. He could just ignore Brendon's ass facing him from the front of the stage and concentrate on his kit until he knew he could put his hands exactly where he wanted them.
But when he got on stage, he saw Jon wandering around his kit, bobbing his head to some internal melody as he plunked it out on his bass. His feet were bare and his jeans were rolled up to mid-calf, and he was wearing his favorite t-shirt from some bar in Minnesota that had a woodchuck on the front and a hole in the armpit. His nose was still sunburned from when they'd been to the beach last week in Florida.
Spencer took one look at him and felt his stomach bottom out. He bit the inside of his cheek hard enough to hurt a little.
Jon glanced over at him and grinned. "Ryan got 'Strawberry Fields' stuck in my head," he said, and hummed the chorus as he tapped out a rhythm on Spencer's cymbal. "Great cover, right?"
"Um." He couldn't stop watching the way Jon's fingers curled over his strings, or splayed out over the surface of the cymbal. They were shorter than his own fingers, but solid, strong. They were fingers that could hold on tight and leave bruises and—
It happened so fast Jon nearly fell back against the kit. His hand clenched into the front of Spencer's shirt to keep from falling over, and then he was opening his mouth wider to Spencer's assault, making a tiny little moaning noise that just about had Spencer tearing their clothes off.
"You—" Jon slid his free hand into Spencer's hair, and pulled back to press their foreheads together as he gasped. "You're serious? Because Brendon just—"
"I know he did, but don't make me explain it, okay, it's—"
Loud, garish feedback screeched through the speakers, startling them. At the front of the stage, his back to them, Ryan swore into his microphone and made a hand motion to their sound guy, seemingly oblivious to what was happening behind him.
Jon's shoulders rose and fell quickly with each breath as he cupped both hands over his face. "Jesus," he whispered.
"Just wait until after soundcheck," Spencer whispered back, not thinking at all as he leaned in to lick a stripe up Jon's neck.
"I don't even know what I'm waiting for, Spence." Jon laughed shakily, ducking away from Spencer's mouth. His cheeks were flushed, and Spencer was pretty sure it was more than the sunburn.
He happened to glance up in time to see Brendon at the other end of the stage, watching them both with dark eyes.
"I think you do," Spencer replied softly, and he took more than a little pleasure out of making Jon shiver as he slid two fingers over his wrist.
"Are you two gonna play or what?" Ryan's voiced echoed through the speakers, and his tone was lightly mocking, although Spencer could hear the hint of curiosity. He was looking at them over his shoulder, smiling slightly.
Spencer closed his eyes for a second, took a deep breath, and walked back to sit behind his kit. Jon didn't say another word, and eventually Brendon stopped watching.
~~
Things didn't get better after soundcheck. Spencer had completely forgotten about meet and greet, which meant that not only could he not go find a hidden closet to make out in, he was forced to sit crammed behind a table with his thigh pressed up against Jon's, and his arm brushing constantly against Brendon's. And then, right before they let the fans in, Ryan reached back behind Brendon and lightly rubbed his fingertips against the top of Spencer's spine in slow, easy circles.
"Better?" Ryan asked, raising an eyebrow at Spencer in genuine concern, and Spencer wanted to feel guilty for instantly thinking, Don't ever stop touching me, please.
He also didn't miss the way Brendon subtly leaned back so that his neck rested for a moment against Ryan's outstretched arm.
It probably should have concerned him more that he was flushed in all the group pictures, and that more than once Brendon curled an arm around his shoulders and nuzzled into his neck, whispering, "Soon?" right as the camera flashed. Spencer bit back a moan and tried halfheartedly to shrug off Brendon's arm, but by then the girls had moved on without a second glance.
But he noticed how Jon was still draped around Ryan, eyes at half mast as he whispered something in Ryan's ear, making him smile and laugh softly. And the strangest part was that Ryan was blushing.
They were sent back to the dressing room to do a last-minute interview with a radio DJ, and even though the room was fairly large with several chairs, Spencer found himself wedged into the corner of the loveseat with Ryan half in his lap and Brendon perched on the couch's arm, leaning back far enough that Spencer could easily tuck his face into Brendon's side and breathe him in. Funny how he couldn't quite concentrate on that thought when Ryan spread his hand over Spencer's knee, long fingers swirling back and forth idly as the DJ asked them simple questions about the tour. Jon, who was squeezed into the other side of the loveseat with one leg slung over Ryan's knee, answered all the guy's questions evenly and succinctly - but his breath caught a few times when Spencer let his hand wander across the back of the couch and slide up into the hair at Jon's nape.
There wasn't any time at all once the interview was over, but somehow Jon stopped Spencer just before they went on stage and said against Spencer's ear, his voice almost lost in the roar of the crowd waiting for them, "I kissed Ryan. Earlier, just after meet and greet."
Spencer could only laugh as his heart pounded fiercely. He didn't know what was happening, why he could feel Jon practically vibrating with tension, but somehow it felt right, like a bunch of puzzle pieces finally sliding perfectly into place. He laughed and kissed Jon, open-mouthed and slow. "Good," he said.
Jon whimpered and sucked at Spencer's lower lip sharply, and it took the house lights going down and the screaming of the crowd to make them break apart.
The show passed in a fuzzy haze; Spencer could almost compare it to the show in Phoenix he'd played while totally baked, only he hadn't spent that show watching every line of Ryan's shoulders, or obsessing over the way Brendon's soaked shirt clung to his back, or swallowing tightly whenever Jon looked back at him with his lip caught between his teeth. He knew he was completely sober, but he couldn't focus on the music or the beat like normal, because his skin was tingling and he wanted.
He'd never spent an entire show hard to the point of desperation.
They played their encore, and Brendon said goodnight like normal. Spencer threw his sticks into the crowd before wiping the sweat off his forehead, hoping, praying, that they'd go straight to the hotel from here, that Zack wouldn't talk them into some last minute signing outside the venue.
He got backstage, only to have Ryan grab him by the wrist and ask in a low voice, "What is this?" He didn't motion to anything, didn't have to.
Spencer shook his head slowly. "I...don't know." Something in the back of his mind thought of the dusty red bottle with the rubber stopper, but he couldn't think about that too long when the rest of his brain suddenly flooded with the intense urge to peel Ryan out of his shirt and vest and just spread him out on a bed and look his fill.
"Something's going on," Ryan murmured, but it sounded like an afterthought as his gaze dropped to Spencer's mouth.
That was all Spencer needed to lean in the rest of the way and kiss him. It was more careful than before with Jon and Brendon, and yet he didn't have to wait to know how Ryan would respond; he made a soft little noise of surprise and immediately swiped his tongue over Spencer's teeth and into his mouth, one hand framing Spencer's jaw, holding him steady so Ryan could kiss him as deep as possible.
A warm, damp breath skimmed over Spencer's cheek as a voice whispered, low and husky, "C'mon, we're heading back to the bus," and the soft lisp at the end told him it was Jon. Spencer hummed and pulled back, really enjoying how dazed Ryan looked as he blinked at them. He'd never seen that look in Ryan's eyes before.
Jon beamed at Ryan, and he wrapped a hand around Ryan's arm to tug him close. "C'mon," he whispered again, skimming his lips over Ryan's cheek. Then he winked at Spencer, who swallowed a groan.
~~
The bus ride was full of quiet intensity, of each of them watching the others as if waiting for something to happen. Spencer didn't trust himself to be near any of them, so he curled up in his bunk, back pressed against the wall as he held the little red bottle in his hands.
It couldn't possibly...but what if—?
"You bought a love potion." Brendon's voice piped up out of nowhere, and Spencer would've rolled his eyes had he not been so unbelievably turned on.
"Sure I did," he replied with a broken laugh, shoving the bottle under his pillow. "And you bought fairy dust and Ryan has a magic top hat."
Brendon walked closer to the bunk without a word. Spencer wanted to tell him not to, that they only had a little while until the hotel, but at the same time he was relieved to have someone close to touch.
"Anything's possible," Brendon whispered, splaying his hand over the dip at Spencer's hip. Spencer shuddered and closed his eyes.
Eventually the bus arrived at their hotel. They ended up in the lobby standing in a careful line by the registration desk as Zack got their key cards. It was as if Spencer's senses were heightened, like he was suddenly Spiderman and could hear every breath that Ryan took to his right and smell every hint of sweat and aftershave on Jon's skin to his left. He was still achingly hard, and he held his duffel in front of him like a shield, even though he knew it was probably written all over his face how much he just wanted to get up to his room and get naked.
They split up like normal, Spencer and Jon in one room and Ryan and Brendon in the other. It shouldn't have mattered, but they all stared at the key cards Zack handed them without saying anything, or making a move toward the elevator. Spencer thought he could hear Brendon's pulse pounding even though he was standing a good three feet away from him.
"What, do you guys wanna go back out or something?" Zack asked, and they all immediately replied in unison, "No," before heading toward the elevators. Spencer didn't want to know about the weird looks they were probably getting from Zack, but he also didn't care, because Ryan's hand was splayed low across his back, and he caught a glimpse of Brendon leaning in to mouth at Jon's neck as the elevator doors slid shut.
"We'll drop our stuff off and come to your room?" Ryan whispered in Spencer's ear as they moved slowly up the floors, and Spencer thought, Any room will do.
"Yeah, okay," he said, swallowing tightly when he felt Ryan's smile against his jaw.
The hallway leading to the rooms seemed too quiet, too still, or maybe it was just because his heart was beating too fast in his chest. Jon slid his key card into the door slot of their room, and the sound echoed off the beige-colored walls. Spencer was aware of Brendon and Ryan disappearing across the hall as Jon held the door open for him, but once they were alone, Spencer felt lost somehow. He set his bag at the foot of the nearest bed and tried to calm his breathing, wishing his skin didn't feel so goddamn tight, that he could just think for a moment on what was about to happen.
But then he felt blunt fingertips slide gently over his elbow, and when he looked up, Jon was chewing his lower lip again and watching Spencer carefully, his eyes wide and dark.
"I think you should kiss me again," he whispered, so soft Spencer strained to hear him.
Spencer sucked in a breath, and suddenly it all came back in a rush, the overwhelming need to touch and to be touched. He couldn't figure out why he'd been hesitant, or why he'd ever thought putting his hands on Jon's stomach this way, making Jon gasp quick and high like that, was ever a bad idea.
He swept his thumbs back and forth in a slow pattern against Jon's still sweat-damp t-shirt as he leaned in and let his mouth slide over Jon's, his tongue pushing inside to lick over Jon's lip, the edge of his teeth. He tasted different than Brendon or Ryan; not better, but different, like vague hints of nicotine mixed with cherry Chapstick. Spencer couldn't help the moan that slipped out, or the way his hips pressed into Jon's.
He heard another gasp, louder and breathier this time, and both of Jon's hands came up to frame Spencer's cheeks as he tilted Spencer's mouth to make the kiss deeper, dirtier, wetter. It was hard to get any friction at this angle, still standing up—the height difference between them had never been more noticeable. Spencer groaned in frustration as he curled his fingers into the waistband of Jon's jeans, and he was just about to tug him over to the bed when the door to their room opened.
"Told you they'd be starting without us," Brendon said brightly, and when Spencer managed to pry his eyes open and look over Jon's shoulder, he could see the two of them standing in the doorway, melted into one another. Brendon was shirtless, his hair completely mussed and his lips shiny and swollen. Ryan looked about the same, only he still had his shirt on, the buttons half undone.
Spencer was torn between kissing Jon more and getting Brendon's mouth around his cock. Or possibly Jon's cock. Not to mention Ryan needed to be naked as soon as possible.
As if he were reading Spencer's mind, Jon said, grinning at them over his shoulder, "Ryan needs to be naked. Like, right now."
Ryan just laughed, a completely open, happy sound, as he started to unbutton his shirt, and Spencer was pretty damn sure he could watch Ryan laugh like that for days. His breath caught, and he was about to go over and help, only Jon was way ahead of him; he kissed Ryan, all tongue and open mouths, and tugged the shirt off roughly. It was mesmerizing, watching the way the differences of their bodies fit together, Ryan's long, lean angles against all of Jon's solid, compact muscle.
Brendon smiled dopily as he watched them, and Spencer slid up behind him, wrapping an arm around Brendon's bare waist as he kissed the back on his neck. He nipped at the edge of Brendon's ear when Jon and Ryan started to stumble back toward the bed, and when Brendon made a move to follow them, Spencer whispered, "Wait a second," and flicked the button of Brendon's jeans open.
"Okay," Brendon gasped as Spencer slipped his hand into his boxers, fingers skimming over the head of his cock. Spencer curled his hand into a loose fist and moaned softly when Brendon let his head fall back against Spencer's shoulder and his hips buck slowly into Spencer's hand. But their eyes didn't leave Ryan and Jon as they tumbled onto the bed and Jon straddled Ryan's hips, never once breaking out of the kiss, except when Jon sat up abruptly to strip out of his t-shirt.
"God, they're so hot," Spencer murmured, barely aware that he'd started to grind against Brendon's ass in the same rhythm that Jon was rolling his hips against Ryan. He tightened his hand slightly around Brendon, making him hiss and swear.
"Fuck, you two are always in sync, aren't you?" Brendon snarked breathlessly, laughing when Jon finally pulled away from Ryan and looked over at them, blinking like he'd forgotten they were still in the room.
But then Jon smiled at them, wrinkling his sunburnt nose as he licked over his lips, and said, "You two need to get the fuck over here," in a voice that already sounded a little wrecked. The last few words died off as Ryan pulled him back down into another kiss, so he flailed his hand at them, making Spencer grin and push Brendon toward the bed, giving his cock one last tight squeeze.
Brendon nearly toppled onto the floor in his haste to get out of his jeans and boxers and onto the bed. "Yeah, thanks for the help, Spence," he mumbled, but there was no bite to it, especially when Jon moved aside to let him crawl up Ryan's body. Ryan beamed back at him, raking his fingers through Brendon's hair before tugging him down close enough to suck at his lower lip. Ryan's eyes were trained over Brendon's shoulder, watching Spencer, who was now the only one in the room still completely clothed.
Jon followed Ryan's gaze and slid smoothly off the bed, and Spencer felt like they were back to where they started, with Jon looking up at him with eyes that were all pupil and Brendon and Ryan kissing eagerly in the background. Jon pushed his hands up under Spencer's shirt, his palms a shock of sensation against Spencer's too-warm skin, and said softly, "Off. Wanna see your skin."
Spencer gasped, the sound almost too loud in the stuffy room, and let Jon undress him. The sound faded into a drawn-out moan when Jon kissed the hollow of his throat, sinking his teeth into the curve of his shoulder before licking his way down Spencer's chest and stomach to nip at the jut of Spencer's hip as he tugged his jeans and shorts down Spencer's legs. Spencer kicked them aside, and suddenly he realized he had Jon on his knees in front him, lips slightly parted and wet. He felt his cock twitch sharply, making him bite back another groan.
He heard a similar moan come from the bed, and when Spencer glanced up he saw that both Ryan and Brendon were now completely naked and thrusting slowly against each other, groaning into each other's mouths. The skin along Brendon's shoulders and back was flushed a dark pink, and Ryan's nails were drawing faint tracks up and down Brendon's spine. Spencer couldn't stop staring at Ryan's hands, how they slid down to cup Brendon's ass hard enough to make Ryan's knuckles go white, or the way Brendon's muscles bunched and shivered each time he moaned.
Spencer was so caught up in the sight of them together that when Jon stroked his hand over Spencer's cock, Spencer's knees buckled, and he had to grab on to Jon's shoulders for balance.
"Bed?" Jon asked, grinning wickedly at him as he rubbed his lower lip over the head.
"Fuck, yes, get over here," Brendon gasped, cupping his hand around the back of Ryan's neck to pull him up into more of a sitting position, so that Brendon was practically sitting in his lap.
Spencer leaned over them and tipped Brendon's head out of the kiss to lick deep into his mouth, until Jon pushed Spencer further back onto the bed. Their mouths parted wetly as Spencer's back hit the pillows, and the dazed, slightly crooked smirk Brendon gave him was possibly the best thing ever.
Until Jon quickly shed his jeans and settled in between Spencer's legs, ducking his head down to swallow Spencer completely.
"Holy shit," Spencer yelled, accidentally banging his head against the headboard. He had enough presence of mind to wince a little, and Ryan reached back and rubbed the back of Spencer's head, laughing softly.
"Easy there," Ryan said, leaning back enough to bring their lips together. Spencer whimpered into his mouth, both hands braced against the mattress as he kissed Ryan back fiercely and tried to keep from coming immediately in Jon's mouth. His lips felt bruised, but he didn't care, he couldn't not be kissing Ryan. Without realizing, Spencer arched his hips up and thrust slowly into Jon's mouth in time to his tongue sliding against Ryan's.
"Jesus fuck," he heard Brendon breathe, right as Jon sucked hard and curled his hand around the base of Spencer's cock. Spencer broke out of the kiss to cry out again, and Brendon used that as an opportunity to swoop in and scrape his teeth over Spencer's swollen lower lip.
"Spence," Brendon whispered. "I want to watch you fuck Jon."
Against Spencer's ear, Ryan moaned and nodded.
Spencer couldn't breathe, could barely process the words Brendon was saying. He blinked a few times and tried to think, but it was especially hard when Brendon pulled back and bent down to lick at Jon's jaw, said, "Would you let him?" in a rough voice Spencer had only ever heard when Brendon joked around about his "sex voice"—which, as it turned out, really was his sex voice.
In response, Jon sucked him one last time and pulled off, looking up at Spencer through his lashes. "Yeah," he gasped, lips shiny and red, and he turned his head to lick into Brendon's mouth and throw an arm around his neck to hold him in close.
"Of course he wants to watch," Ryan breathed, low enough for probably only Spencer to hear. He grinned wolfishly, chewing his lip as his eyes raked over the two of them kissing lazily. "I should've known."
Spencer laughed breathlessly, wanting Jon's mouth back on him, but at the same time he couldn't stop imagining how it would feel to be sliding inside of him, how tight he'd be. It took a moment before he realized that Ryan was whispering his exact thoughts out loud, only this time he must've said them louder, because Jon pulled out of the kiss and beamed at Ryan, his hair mussed from where Brendon had been clinging to him. He crawled over Spencer's legs and braced both hands at either side of Ryan's hips and kissed him hard and fast.
Spencer could feel their breath puffing out hotly near his face, could hear each soft gasp they made, and he felt both jealous and pleased that they could kiss like this and let him see. He reached a hand out and let his fingers skim over Ryan's cheek, the slight sheen of sweat along Jon's jaw, and they both leaned into his touch without breaking apart.
"Here," he heard Brendon whisper, and a small bottle was pressed into Spencer's hand. He forced himself to look away from Ryan and Jon to find he was holding a bottle of hotel lotion, and Brendon was sweeping his hand back and forth over Spencer's stomach as he said, "It's all we've got, I think it should work—"
"Yeah, it'll work," Spencer said, already squeezing a handful out into his palm. He slicked his fingers up slowly and got to his knees on the bed, slowly jerking himself as he moved behind Jon while Brendon scrambled up by the pillows.
"Ryan, Ryan, let Jon up for sec," Brendon said against Ryan's cheek.
Their mouths parted with a slick pop, and Spencer saw Jon rub his thumb over Ryan's mouth before leaning back.
"Would you?" he whispered, and Ryan's eyes flared as he smiled with one corner of his mouth and nodded. Spencer wasn't sure what Jon meant, until he saw Ryan sit up and tuck his legs underneath him. He slid his hands up Jon's thighs and bent down to kiss at the tip of Jon's cock.
Brendon said softly, "Oh man," and Spencer swallowed hard and almost forgot what he'd been about to do. He tightened his hand around his dick and picked up the pace a bit when Ryan opened his mouth and swallowed Jon down.
Jon's eyes fluttered closed and his weight fell back against Spencer a little as he whimpered, his hips stuttering. Having Jon's heat pressed against his chest brought Spencer back to the moment; he mouthed at the curve of Jon's neck and slid his slick fingers over the crack of his ass, letting himself look down over Jon's shoulder every once in a while to take in Ryan's blissed out expression, how Jon's cock kept disappearing into his mouth.
"Have you ever wondered what that would look like?"
Spencer blinked slowly, the tips of his fingers just barely pressing into Jon's ass, and saw Brendon grinning at him as he draped himself easily over Ryan's side. "Have you?" Brendon asked again, lower this time.
He huffed against Jon's neck and bit at his jaw, pushing his fingers deeper and groaning at the tight resistance. "Yeah," Spencer said, and to be honest, he'd thought about all of this at one point or another, way in the back of his mind in tiny, locked corners. But at the moment, he couldn't remember why he'd never bothered to say anything until now.
Jon gasped, "Fuck, Spence," and canted his hips back onto Spencer's fingers, and Spencer's eyes opened enough to catch Brendon's satisfied smile as he held his own fingers out and pressed them against Jon's open mouth.
"Help me out, Walker," he said, and Jon didn't hesitate at all before swiping his tongue out over Brendon's fingertips, his knuckles. He sucked three fingers into his mouth even as he bucked into Ryan's, moaning roughly when Spencer twisted his hand a little. When Brendon finally pulled his hand back, Jon was gasping, his weight almost completely on Spencer, and Spencer's cheek was damp from rubbing along the sheen of sweat along Jon's temple.
"Fucking beautiful," Brendon breathed, and Spencer wanted to laugh at the fact that he couldn't seem to stop talking. But he lost that thought the instant he saw Brendon's slick hand slide down the small of Ryan's back and tease over his ass.
Jon swore and sort of flailed his hand out at Brendon, whose smile went from almost predatory to bright and eager as he draped himself along Ryan's side and leaned in to kiss Jon, grinning as their mouths met. It was slow and lazy, completely at odds with everything else going on, but Spencer thought it was oddly perfect, especially when Jon whimpered into Brendon's mouth as Spencer finally withdrew his fingers, only to replace them with the head of his cock a few seconds later.
"God," Jon groaned as Spencer pushed further inside. Brendon practically licked the sound out of Jon's mouth.
What was even more odd was the bloom of heat in his stomach when Brendon pulled away from Jon and kissed the corner of Spencer's mouth lightly. Spencer heard something very much like a breathless laugh from Jon, and the next thing he knew, Jon was smiling against Spencer's cheek, whispering, "I think he feels left out," before he moaned and canted his hips back, letting Spencer sink all the way up to the hilt inside him.
Brendon kissed the tip of Spencer's nose and said, "I do, but that's okay, 'm making up for it." The end of his sentence was punctuated by Ryan suddenly groaning loudly, his mouth still full of Jon's cock, and Spencer's throat went dry as he watched Brendon's finger slide inside Ryan's ass in one smooth move. Brendon pressed close to Ryan's side and began whispering into Ryan's ear things Spencer couldn't hear, but whatever they were, they made Ryan moan loud enough to almost let Jon slip out of his mouth.
It was all too much, the sight of Brendon fucking Ryan with his fingers, the sounds of Ryan gradually coming apart mingled with Jon's increasingly desperate, broken sighs, and the feel of Jon tight and hot clenched around his dick. Spencer didn't even realize he was holding his breath until Jon reached back and tangled his fingers into Spencer's hair.
"Breathe, Spence," he gasped, arching his back when Spencer thrust harder inside him. Somehow his words sparked something in Ryan; he suddenly hollowed his cheeks and sucked harder, his right hand pumping Jon in time with the suction of his mouth, and Spencer felt the instant Jon started to come, his body jerking violently as his head fell back against Spencer's shoulder. Ryan didn't let up, even as Jon groaned and his hips spasmed. Spencer saw the line of Ryan's throat bob several times, and not five seconds after Jon had finished, Brendon hauled Ryan up onto his knees and tilted Ryan's head toward him to kiss Jon's taste from Ryan's mouth.
Spencer was so caught up in the moment that he'd lost his rhythm, until Jon, still breathless and shaking, ground down against Spencer and growled, "Your turn."
And that was pretty much all it took to send Spencer over the edge. He wrapped his right arm around Jon's chest in a fierce grip and held him stationary as he pounded into him, over and over, until flecks of light shimmered behind Spencer's closed eyes and he came hard, his yell slightly muffled by Jon's sweat-damp hair.
It took Spencer a moment to realize that Jon was laughing, his body completely boneless against Spencer's chest as he rolled his head back along Spencer's shoulder and said, "Holy shit, I'm dead."
Spencer sucked enough air into his lungs to grin and say, "Can't die yet, it's not over."
His words were punctuated by a hissed fuck from Ryan, followed immediately by a loud thunk of someone hitting the headboard. Spencer forced his eyes open and saw Brendon sprawled against the head of the bed, with his shoulders at a weird angle and Ryan riding his lap, facing Jon and Spencer. Ryan had his hands braced against Brendon's thighs to keep his balance, and in the meantime Brendon was gripping Ryan's hip tightly, his knuckles almost white, while his right hand pumped Ryan's cock. Both their eyes were closed, and Ryan's head was bowed, his hair tangled and damp across his forehead; he bit his lip and moaned with each press of his hips into Brendon's upward thrusts, and it seemed like Brendon was holding him too tightly to let Ryan buck into his hand.
The rhythm looked frustrating and intense, like they were both fighting for control of it, but also too desperate to do anything but let it happen. Spencer barely had his breath back, but he still felt a twinge of want in his chest when Brendon pushed up into Ryan hard and groaned, "C'mon, Ryan, c'mon," and twisted his hand. Ryan tipped his head back and opened his eyes, looking straight at Spencer and Jon as he came over Brendon's hand, mouth open and slack.
Spencer was still buried inside Jon, and he felt Jon shift against him and gasp softly as Spencer's dick twitched. "Jesus," Jon whispered just as Brendon's back arched. He yelled a blue streak that, oddly enough, ended in gosh. It made Spencer smile crookedly as he skimmed his teeth over Jon's shoulder.
Once Brendon dropped his hands, Ryan lifted his hips and rolled off of him, collapsing on the bed with his legs still tangled with Brendon's. Jon made a humming sound deep in his throat and slowly moved off Spencer to crawl across the bed and wiggle his way in between the two of them, tucking his face up against Brendon's neck.
Ryan cracked an eye open and grinned at Spencer, his cheeks flushed as he gasped for breath. He flicked a finger at him, which Spencer immediately interpreted as get over here.
But Spencer just sat back on his heels and took in the sight of them wrapped up in each other, all sweaty and gorgeous and perfect. They were his, and Spencer's heart started pounding again as he rolled that thought around in his brain, thinking about everything they had to do to each other, things they had yet to say, and they had all the time in the world for it, too, because—
Suddenly, the fuzzy red haze he'd grown accustomed to over the last several hours started to dissipate a little. Spencer blinked a few times and stared down at his hands, waiting for the tingling sensation just below his skin to come back.
"Spence?"
He glanced up and saw Jon watching him carefully. "What's the matter?" Jon asked, stretching languidly out against the bed and letting his toes nudge Spencer's knee.
"I..." He was tired, that was all, tired and worn out by orgasms.
Brendon sat up and grabbed Spencer by the arm, hauling him half onto Jon and half on Ryan. "Don't tell me you're not a cuddler, Spence, I know that's bullshit." He yawned and draped himself over Jon so he could nuzzle Spencer's chin, sighing contentedly.
Spencer told himself that the only reason he startled at the touch of Brendon's mouth against his cheek was because his nerves were shot. "Cuddling's fine, totally fine," he murmured, skimming his lips over Ryan's cheek. He tried to ignore the small twinge in his chest telling him that something wasn't right and let himself melt into the pile of naked limbs and body heat; he fell asleep with Jon's hand splayed possessively over the small of his back, Ryan's breath puffing softly over his neck, and Brendon pretty much stretched out over the three of them with his cheek pressed against Spencer's stomach.
~~
Like any normal guy, Spencer was used to dreaming about sex and waking up in the morning with a hard-on digging into the mattress. It was more difficult on the nights they slept on the bus, because he couldn't simply roll out of bed and trudge to the bathroom to beat off; covert masturbation was a lifestyle on tour.
He woke up to soft light filtering in through the curtains, his skin still buzzing from a dream involving lots of head...which may have also included someone who vaguely looked like Ryan. No big deal, really, Spencer could admit to himself that he tended to have sex dreams about his bandmates on more than one occasion. It didn't mean anything.
That is, until he yawned and tried to roll his hips a little against the mattress for a hint of friction, and the mattress sighed.
Spencer's eyes flew open.
He was laying almost sideways on the bed with his mouth against the top of someone's spine, and that someone looked a hell of a lot like Jon. His knee was tucked between someone's legs, and Spencer realized with a start that he was, in fact, grinding his dick against Jon's ass. Luckily, though, Jon seemed dead to the world.
Spencer took a deep breath and rolled over very slowly, only he then found himself nose to nose with a naked Brendon, who blinked sleepily at him and smiled, rubbing the back of his hand over his nose. His cheeks were pink from sleep, and his hair was plastered over his forehead.
"Morning," Brendon whispered.
Spencer swallowed. "Um. Hi?" He lifted his head off the pillow and saw Ryan on the other side of Brendon, sleeping on his stomach with one arm draped over Brendon's stomach.
Every moment, every touch, every single thing they did the night before, came back to Spencer in a rush of heat. He flushed and tried not to immediately scramble off the bed, but...oh god, it wasn't a dream, was it?
Brendon chewed his lip, not meeting Spencer's eyes. "I, um. Think that red bottle was possibly, maybe, like. Sex voodoo. Or something."
Spencer shut his eyes and wished he could just sink into the bed and disappear. "That's impossible," he whispered, even though, in a bizarre, insane way, it all made perfect sense; why he hadn't freaked out about kissing any of them, or why getting naked and having sex with his band had seemed like a perfectly good idea at the time.
"No, it's not." Brendon shook his head against his pillow. "We didn't know what was in that bottle, Spence, but we both sniffed it."
He could feel his heart starting to pound faster and faster as the repercussions of what transpired last night began to race through his brain. Fuck, he'd ruined the band, there was no way they were going to get over this, Ryan probably wouldn't even look him in the eye from now on, and Jon—Jon might just leave and go back to Chicago and not say another word to any of them.
"Hey." Spencer felt a hand cup his cheek. "Spence, it'll be okay. Really."
"How?" He was shaking a little, and he really wished he wasn't naked. "I've fucked up everything. We were drugged and had a goddamn orgy, and it's my fault."
He didn't expect Brendon's soft laugh, or the kiss on the mouth. Spencer figured at least he still had Brendon when everything else would probably be gone.
"Spence, only you and me sniffed the bottle."
He frowned. "So?"
"So, Jon and Ryan didn't have any contact with it at all." Brendon grinned harder, swiping his thumb over Spencer's bottom lip. "Which means they weren't drugged."
Spencer huffed and batted Brendon's hand away. "Which also means you and I took advantage of them." His stomach felt full of lead.
"Dammit, haven't you ever watched Buffy the Vampire Slayer? Don't you know anything about magic?" Brendon reached down and poked Spencer in the ribs. "Sometimes all it takes to make someone realize what they want is a nudge in the right direction."
"That makes no fucking sense."
"Only it does. Think about it—can you honestly say you've never wanted me? Or Jon? Or Ryan? Ever?"
Spencer glared, blushing a deeper pink.
"My point exactly. And the same goes for all of us. Jon and Ryan didn't have to sniff the red bottle, because all it took was the two of us getting over our inhibitions to make them want it, too." His touch turned softer, fingertips spreading gently over Spencer's sternum. "You didn't ruin anything, and we didn't take advantage of anyone. All we did was give ourselves a nudge."
"How..." Spencer licked his lips and tried very hard not to completely believe every word Brendon just said. "How can you be so sure?"
Brendon shrugged. "I just know." Then he leaned close and kissed Spencer, slow and easy, and Spencer sighed into his mouth, letting himself buy into it all for just a moment.
Behind him, Jon stirred and made a soft, sleepy noise. "'s goin' on?" he mumbled, rolling over and spooning up tight against Spencer's back, his arm flopped across Spencer's stomach.
Brendon grinned and said, without breaking completely away from the kiss, "I'm kissing Spence out of a freak out."
Jon hummed again and nuzzled his nose over Spencer's neck. "Freak out?"
"He thinks we didn't really want to sex him up last night."
"Ah." Jon bit Spencer's ear gently. "Is he better now?"
Spencer said, only slightly breathless, "Spencer thinks you both have morning breath."
From the other side of the bed, Ryan said, completely coherent and without a trace of sleepiness, "Less talk, more sleep, please."
"Ross, tell Spence you wanted to see him naked last night so he'll stop freaking out," Jon said into Spencer's hair, his middle and index finger tracing patterns over Spencer's bellybutton.
There was a few grumbled words, then, "Unless he slipped me a love potion?"
Brendon dissolved into hysterics that lead to Ryan smacking him across the chest with his pillow and Spencer trying to kick him out of bed and Jon frowning in confusion. But it ended with Brendon pining Ryan to the bed with a deep kiss while Spencer trailed his fingers over the lines of their bodies as Jon nosed his way over Spencer's shoulders and neck.
When they got back to the bus an hour later, Spencer dug out one of Ryan's old scarves and carefully wrapped up the little red bottle, tucking it into the corner of his bunk.
"Magic," he whispered to himself, and went back into the lounge to pile onto the couch with the rest of his band.
Panic GSF | 8000 words | NC-17
"You bought a love potion." Brendon's voice piped up out of nowhere, and Spencer would've rolled his eyes had he not been so unbelievably turned on.
So yeah, here's the love potion (i.e. sex pollen, whatevs) fic. This never would've happened without
harriet_vane making evil polls and siryn99 coercing me through AIM. Needless to say, this is for both of them. Also, it's quite honestly the porniest thing I have ever written. To everyone who looked this over very kindly--emilyray, insunshine, maple_mahogany, and sinuous_curve--thank you. ♥ Ridiculously long title stolen from We Are Scientists."It's what?" Brendon asked, wrinkling his nose at the dark red bottle in Spencer's hand.
"Smelling salts. You know, like doctors had way back in the day?" Spencer squinted at what was left of the peeling, yellowed label, but all he could make out was a couple of letters that were too faded to read. He'd asked the guy in the head shop ("Antiques!" Ryan had insisted) what exactly was in it, and the old man had kind of shrugged and said a couple of kooky old ladies brought it in a few months back.
"Pretty sure they were into that voodoo witchery stuff," the guy had mumbled. "But I figured the bottles could be collectors' items."
The weird little red bottle could have been filled with arsenic for all Spencer knew, but he liked the idea of smelling salts for some reason. Maybe it was left over from when Ryan had gotten him hooked on Sherlock Holmes for a summer.
"Smelling salts aren't a liquid, dude," Brendon said, but he took the bottle and sniffed it anyway.
"And how the fuck would you know?"
"I just do, okay, and you should really throw this shit out. If Zack sees you with this, he'll freak."
This was true, and Spencer knew it. But instead of pouring it out, he sniffed it as well, frowning at the lack of smell, and put the rubber stopper back before setting the bottle on the edge of his bunk.
~~
It started like a faint tingling just under his skin, like an itch he couldn't quite scratch. Spencer felt it not long after leaving the bus, but he didn't think much of it until later, when they were playing a game of hacky sack in the parking lot and Brendon made a crazy kick, sending the bag flying through the air and nearly beaming Spencer in the eye. Only Jon intercepted it at the last minute, which caused him to knock into Spencer, almost chest to chest.
"Saved your life," Jon said, winking at Spencer as he held the bag up, and his hand absently brushed against Spencer's elbow. It was a perfectly normal touch, and it wasn't as if Jon had never winked at him before. But suddenly it felt like...something else. Something more, and Spencer's palms broke into a sweat.
He figured it had to be a side effect of too many nights spent crammed into a bunk and beating off hard and fast to keep anyone from hearing. He was just lonely, that's all, and it certainly didn't have anything to do with being touched.
But at soundcheck, and just as he thought he had himself under control again, Ryan came up behind him backstage and cupped a hand over his neck.
"Hey, you okay?" he whispered against Spencer's ear, his breath warm and brushing softly over his skin. Spencer couldn't help the small shiver; he found himself wanting to lean back against Ryan, turn his head enough to let their mouths meet, and god, where had that thought even come from?
"I...think I might be coming down with something," Spencer mumbled in reply, almost breathless, and quickly ducked out of Ryan's hold and ran to the dressing room.
He shut the door behind him and took a deep breath. Maybe it was the flu, and instead of a fever he was just...horny. Which didn't make any goddamn sense at all, but how else could he explain suddenly wanting to make out with Ryan in public?
There was a tap on the dressing room door, and a second later Brendon said, slightly muffled, "Spence? You in there?"
Good, okay, maybe if he let Brendon in, he could explain what was going on and possibly get an idea of what to do. Spencer opened the door, and he was fully prepared to tell Brendon everything, only he took one look at Brendon's face and forgot what he was about to say.
Brendon's eyes were wide, too wide, nearly all pupil, and his cheeks were bright pink. His lips were shiny, like he'd been licking them constantly.
"I just kissed Jon," he whispered, sounding both horrified and amazed. "Like, just now, on stage." He blinked slowly at Spencer, like he was in a daze. "That's...not normal, right? But I—I felt like I had to."
All the air whooshed out of Spencer's lungs, and he forced himself to swallow hard and ask, voice rough, "What did he do?"
"I think he kissed me back, but I ran off before I could really tell." Brendon leaned closer; they were still standing in the doorway of the dressing room, but Spencer couldn't seem to make himself care at the moment. He couldn't stop staring at Brendon's slick lower lip. "But you know what the weird thing is?"
Spencer laughed, high and breathy. It was all he could do to keep from fisting his hands in Brendon's shirt and hauling him up against his chest. "What, that's not weird?"
"No, that's just it. I'm not freaking out about it." He paused, scraping his teeth over his lip. "And right now, I kind of really need to touch you. Like, a lot."
He didn't wait for Spencer to answer—instead, he backed Spencer into the room and went up a little on his toes so their bodies pressed together as he slid his tongue into Spencer's mouth. He didn't have to wait for Spencer to let him in, because Spencer's gasp accomplished that perfectly.
"What is this, Spence?" Brendon asked in between deep, wet kisses as they stumbled across the room until the back of Spencer's legs hit the edge of a couch. "I should be freaking out, right?"
"Yeah, yeah, you should, I don't know, I just." He cupped both hands over Brendon's cheeks and tilted his head back a little to give Spencer deeper access. He lost his train of thought, could only think more and Brendon. It occurred to him, way in the back of his mind, that he should probably be freaking out as well, but the anxiety from earlier was evaporating quickly, and all that seemed to be left was this intense wanting he couldn't stop.
A loud pounding on the door and Zack's impatient, "You two have five minutes to get your asses to soundcheck!" made them break apart, panting and clinging to each other.
"Soundcheck," Brendon repeated, eyes closed as he nodded his head fervently. "Right. Yes."
Spencer rubbed his fingers absently over his mouth and nudged Brendon toward the door. "C'mon," he said softly. "We'll, um, be discussing this later."
Brendon kept nodding his head. "Later," he breathed. "Right."
~~
Spencer told himself they only had to make it through soundcheck, then they could duck into whatever closet they could find and makeout until the show. He could just ignore Brendon's ass facing him from the front of the stage and concentrate on his kit until he knew he could put his hands exactly where he wanted them.
But when he got on stage, he saw Jon wandering around his kit, bobbing his head to some internal melody as he plunked it out on his bass. His feet were bare and his jeans were rolled up to mid-calf, and he was wearing his favorite t-shirt from some bar in Minnesota that had a woodchuck on the front and a hole in the armpit. His nose was still sunburned from when they'd been to the beach last week in Florida.
Spencer took one look at him and felt his stomach bottom out. He bit the inside of his cheek hard enough to hurt a little.
Jon glanced over at him and grinned. "Ryan got 'Strawberry Fields' stuck in my head," he said, and hummed the chorus as he tapped out a rhythm on Spencer's cymbal. "Great cover, right?"
"Um." He couldn't stop watching the way Jon's fingers curled over his strings, or splayed out over the surface of the cymbal. They were shorter than his own fingers, but solid, strong. They were fingers that could hold on tight and leave bruises and—
It happened so fast Jon nearly fell back against the kit. His hand clenched into the front of Spencer's shirt to keep from falling over, and then he was opening his mouth wider to Spencer's assault, making a tiny little moaning noise that just about had Spencer tearing their clothes off.
"You—" Jon slid his free hand into Spencer's hair, and pulled back to press their foreheads together as he gasped. "You're serious? Because Brendon just—"
"I know he did, but don't make me explain it, okay, it's—"
Loud, garish feedback screeched through the speakers, startling them. At the front of the stage, his back to them, Ryan swore into his microphone and made a hand motion to their sound guy, seemingly oblivious to what was happening behind him.
Jon's shoulders rose and fell quickly with each breath as he cupped both hands over his face. "Jesus," he whispered.
"Just wait until after soundcheck," Spencer whispered back, not thinking at all as he leaned in to lick a stripe up Jon's neck.
"I don't even know what I'm waiting for, Spence." Jon laughed shakily, ducking away from Spencer's mouth. His cheeks were flushed, and Spencer was pretty sure it was more than the sunburn.
He happened to glance up in time to see Brendon at the other end of the stage, watching them both with dark eyes.
"I think you do," Spencer replied softly, and he took more than a little pleasure out of making Jon shiver as he slid two fingers over his wrist.
"Are you two gonna play or what?" Ryan's voiced echoed through the speakers, and his tone was lightly mocking, although Spencer could hear the hint of curiosity. He was looking at them over his shoulder, smiling slightly.
Spencer closed his eyes for a second, took a deep breath, and walked back to sit behind his kit. Jon didn't say another word, and eventually Brendon stopped watching.
~~
Things didn't get better after soundcheck. Spencer had completely forgotten about meet and greet, which meant that not only could he not go find a hidden closet to make out in, he was forced to sit crammed behind a table with his thigh pressed up against Jon's, and his arm brushing constantly against Brendon's. And then, right before they let the fans in, Ryan reached back behind Brendon and lightly rubbed his fingertips against the top of Spencer's spine in slow, easy circles.
"Better?" Ryan asked, raising an eyebrow at Spencer in genuine concern, and Spencer wanted to feel guilty for instantly thinking, Don't ever stop touching me, please.
He also didn't miss the way Brendon subtly leaned back so that his neck rested for a moment against Ryan's outstretched arm.
It probably should have concerned him more that he was flushed in all the group pictures, and that more than once Brendon curled an arm around his shoulders and nuzzled into his neck, whispering, "Soon?" right as the camera flashed. Spencer bit back a moan and tried halfheartedly to shrug off Brendon's arm, but by then the girls had moved on without a second glance.
But he noticed how Jon was still draped around Ryan, eyes at half mast as he whispered something in Ryan's ear, making him smile and laugh softly. And the strangest part was that Ryan was blushing.
They were sent back to the dressing room to do a last-minute interview with a radio DJ, and even though the room was fairly large with several chairs, Spencer found himself wedged into the corner of the loveseat with Ryan half in his lap and Brendon perched on the couch's arm, leaning back far enough that Spencer could easily tuck his face into Brendon's side and breathe him in. Funny how he couldn't quite concentrate on that thought when Ryan spread his hand over Spencer's knee, long fingers swirling back and forth idly as the DJ asked them simple questions about the tour. Jon, who was squeezed into the other side of the loveseat with one leg slung over Ryan's knee, answered all the guy's questions evenly and succinctly - but his breath caught a few times when Spencer let his hand wander across the back of the couch and slide up into the hair at Jon's nape.
There wasn't any time at all once the interview was over, but somehow Jon stopped Spencer just before they went on stage and said against Spencer's ear, his voice almost lost in the roar of the crowd waiting for them, "I kissed Ryan. Earlier, just after meet and greet."
Spencer could only laugh as his heart pounded fiercely. He didn't know what was happening, why he could feel Jon practically vibrating with tension, but somehow it felt right, like a bunch of puzzle pieces finally sliding perfectly into place. He laughed and kissed Jon, open-mouthed and slow. "Good," he said.
Jon whimpered and sucked at Spencer's lower lip sharply, and it took the house lights going down and the screaming of the crowd to make them break apart.
The show passed in a fuzzy haze; Spencer could almost compare it to the show in Phoenix he'd played while totally baked, only he hadn't spent that show watching every line of Ryan's shoulders, or obsessing over the way Brendon's soaked shirt clung to his back, or swallowing tightly whenever Jon looked back at him with his lip caught between his teeth. He knew he was completely sober, but he couldn't focus on the music or the beat like normal, because his skin was tingling and he wanted.
He'd never spent an entire show hard to the point of desperation.
They played their encore, and Brendon said goodnight like normal. Spencer threw his sticks into the crowd before wiping the sweat off his forehead, hoping, praying, that they'd go straight to the hotel from here, that Zack wouldn't talk them into some last minute signing outside the venue.
He got backstage, only to have Ryan grab him by the wrist and ask in a low voice, "What is this?" He didn't motion to anything, didn't have to.
Spencer shook his head slowly. "I...don't know." Something in the back of his mind thought of the dusty red bottle with the rubber stopper, but he couldn't think about that too long when the rest of his brain suddenly flooded with the intense urge to peel Ryan out of his shirt and vest and just spread him out on a bed and look his fill.
"Something's going on," Ryan murmured, but it sounded like an afterthought as his gaze dropped to Spencer's mouth.
That was all Spencer needed to lean in the rest of the way and kiss him. It was more careful than before with Jon and Brendon, and yet he didn't have to wait to know how Ryan would respond; he made a soft little noise of surprise and immediately swiped his tongue over Spencer's teeth and into his mouth, one hand framing Spencer's jaw, holding him steady so Ryan could kiss him as deep as possible.
A warm, damp breath skimmed over Spencer's cheek as a voice whispered, low and husky, "C'mon, we're heading back to the bus," and the soft lisp at the end told him it was Jon. Spencer hummed and pulled back, really enjoying how dazed Ryan looked as he blinked at them. He'd never seen that look in Ryan's eyes before.
Jon beamed at Ryan, and he wrapped a hand around Ryan's arm to tug him close. "C'mon," he whispered again, skimming his lips over Ryan's cheek. Then he winked at Spencer, who swallowed a groan.
~~
The bus ride was full of quiet intensity, of each of them watching the others as if waiting for something to happen. Spencer didn't trust himself to be near any of them, so he curled up in his bunk, back pressed against the wall as he held the little red bottle in his hands.
It couldn't possibly...but what if—?
"You bought a love potion." Brendon's voice piped up out of nowhere, and Spencer would've rolled his eyes had he not been so unbelievably turned on.
"Sure I did," he replied with a broken laugh, shoving the bottle under his pillow. "And you bought fairy dust and Ryan has a magic top hat."
Brendon walked closer to the bunk without a word. Spencer wanted to tell him not to, that they only had a little while until the hotel, but at the same time he was relieved to have someone close to touch.
"Anything's possible," Brendon whispered, splaying his hand over the dip at Spencer's hip. Spencer shuddered and closed his eyes.
Eventually the bus arrived at their hotel. They ended up in the lobby standing in a careful line by the registration desk as Zack got their key cards. It was as if Spencer's senses were heightened, like he was suddenly Spiderman and could hear every breath that Ryan took to his right and smell every hint of sweat and aftershave on Jon's skin to his left. He was still achingly hard, and he held his duffel in front of him like a shield, even though he knew it was probably written all over his face how much he just wanted to get up to his room and get naked.
They split up like normal, Spencer and Jon in one room and Ryan and Brendon in the other. It shouldn't have mattered, but they all stared at the key cards Zack handed them without saying anything, or making a move toward the elevator. Spencer thought he could hear Brendon's pulse pounding even though he was standing a good three feet away from him.
"What, do you guys wanna go back out or something?" Zack asked, and they all immediately replied in unison, "No," before heading toward the elevators. Spencer didn't want to know about the weird looks they were probably getting from Zack, but he also didn't care, because Ryan's hand was splayed low across his back, and he caught a glimpse of Brendon leaning in to mouth at Jon's neck as the elevator doors slid shut.
"We'll drop our stuff off and come to your room?" Ryan whispered in Spencer's ear as they moved slowly up the floors, and Spencer thought, Any room will do.
"Yeah, okay," he said, swallowing tightly when he felt Ryan's smile against his jaw.
The hallway leading to the rooms seemed too quiet, too still, or maybe it was just because his heart was beating too fast in his chest. Jon slid his key card into the door slot of their room, and the sound echoed off the beige-colored walls. Spencer was aware of Brendon and Ryan disappearing across the hall as Jon held the door open for him, but once they were alone, Spencer felt lost somehow. He set his bag at the foot of the nearest bed and tried to calm his breathing, wishing his skin didn't feel so goddamn tight, that he could just think for a moment on what was about to happen.
But then he felt blunt fingertips slide gently over his elbow, and when he looked up, Jon was chewing his lower lip again and watching Spencer carefully, his eyes wide and dark.
"I think you should kiss me again," he whispered, so soft Spencer strained to hear him.
Spencer sucked in a breath, and suddenly it all came back in a rush, the overwhelming need to touch and to be touched. He couldn't figure out why he'd been hesitant, or why he'd ever thought putting his hands on Jon's stomach this way, making Jon gasp quick and high like that, was ever a bad idea.
He swept his thumbs back and forth in a slow pattern against Jon's still sweat-damp t-shirt as he leaned in and let his mouth slide over Jon's, his tongue pushing inside to lick over Jon's lip, the edge of his teeth. He tasted different than Brendon or Ryan; not better, but different, like vague hints of nicotine mixed with cherry Chapstick. Spencer couldn't help the moan that slipped out, or the way his hips pressed into Jon's.
He heard another gasp, louder and breathier this time, and both of Jon's hands came up to frame Spencer's cheeks as he tilted Spencer's mouth to make the kiss deeper, dirtier, wetter. It was hard to get any friction at this angle, still standing up—the height difference between them had never been more noticeable. Spencer groaned in frustration as he curled his fingers into the waistband of Jon's jeans, and he was just about to tug him over to the bed when the door to their room opened.
"Told you they'd be starting without us," Brendon said brightly, and when Spencer managed to pry his eyes open and look over Jon's shoulder, he could see the two of them standing in the doorway, melted into one another. Brendon was shirtless, his hair completely mussed and his lips shiny and swollen. Ryan looked about the same, only he still had his shirt on, the buttons half undone.
Spencer was torn between kissing Jon more and getting Brendon's mouth around his cock. Or possibly Jon's cock. Not to mention Ryan needed to be naked as soon as possible.
As if he were reading Spencer's mind, Jon said, grinning at them over his shoulder, "Ryan needs to be naked. Like, right now."
Ryan just laughed, a completely open, happy sound, as he started to unbutton his shirt, and Spencer was pretty damn sure he could watch Ryan laugh like that for days. His breath caught, and he was about to go over and help, only Jon was way ahead of him; he kissed Ryan, all tongue and open mouths, and tugged the shirt off roughly. It was mesmerizing, watching the way the differences of their bodies fit together, Ryan's long, lean angles against all of Jon's solid, compact muscle.
Brendon smiled dopily as he watched them, and Spencer slid up behind him, wrapping an arm around Brendon's bare waist as he kissed the back on his neck. He nipped at the edge of Brendon's ear when Jon and Ryan started to stumble back toward the bed, and when Brendon made a move to follow them, Spencer whispered, "Wait a second," and flicked the button of Brendon's jeans open.
"Okay," Brendon gasped as Spencer slipped his hand into his boxers, fingers skimming over the head of his cock. Spencer curled his hand into a loose fist and moaned softly when Brendon let his head fall back against Spencer's shoulder and his hips buck slowly into Spencer's hand. But their eyes didn't leave Ryan and Jon as they tumbled onto the bed and Jon straddled Ryan's hips, never once breaking out of the kiss, except when Jon sat up abruptly to strip out of his t-shirt.
"God, they're so hot," Spencer murmured, barely aware that he'd started to grind against Brendon's ass in the same rhythm that Jon was rolling his hips against Ryan. He tightened his hand slightly around Brendon, making him hiss and swear.
"Fuck, you two are always in sync, aren't you?" Brendon snarked breathlessly, laughing when Jon finally pulled away from Ryan and looked over at them, blinking like he'd forgotten they were still in the room.
But then Jon smiled at them, wrinkling his sunburnt nose as he licked over his lips, and said, "You two need to get the fuck over here," in a voice that already sounded a little wrecked. The last few words died off as Ryan pulled him back down into another kiss, so he flailed his hand at them, making Spencer grin and push Brendon toward the bed, giving his cock one last tight squeeze.
Brendon nearly toppled onto the floor in his haste to get out of his jeans and boxers and onto the bed. "Yeah, thanks for the help, Spence," he mumbled, but there was no bite to it, especially when Jon moved aside to let him crawl up Ryan's body. Ryan beamed back at him, raking his fingers through Brendon's hair before tugging him down close enough to suck at his lower lip. Ryan's eyes were trained over Brendon's shoulder, watching Spencer, who was now the only one in the room still completely clothed.
Jon followed Ryan's gaze and slid smoothly off the bed, and Spencer felt like they were back to where they started, with Jon looking up at him with eyes that were all pupil and Brendon and Ryan kissing eagerly in the background. Jon pushed his hands up under Spencer's shirt, his palms a shock of sensation against Spencer's too-warm skin, and said softly, "Off. Wanna see your skin."
Spencer gasped, the sound almost too loud in the stuffy room, and let Jon undress him. The sound faded into a drawn-out moan when Jon kissed the hollow of his throat, sinking his teeth into the curve of his shoulder before licking his way down Spencer's chest and stomach to nip at the jut of Spencer's hip as he tugged his jeans and shorts down Spencer's legs. Spencer kicked them aside, and suddenly he realized he had Jon on his knees in front him, lips slightly parted and wet. He felt his cock twitch sharply, making him bite back another groan.
He heard a similar moan come from the bed, and when Spencer glanced up he saw that both Ryan and Brendon were now completely naked and thrusting slowly against each other, groaning into each other's mouths. The skin along Brendon's shoulders and back was flushed a dark pink, and Ryan's nails were drawing faint tracks up and down Brendon's spine. Spencer couldn't stop staring at Ryan's hands, how they slid down to cup Brendon's ass hard enough to make Ryan's knuckles go white, or the way Brendon's muscles bunched and shivered each time he moaned.
Spencer was so caught up in the sight of them together that when Jon stroked his hand over Spencer's cock, Spencer's knees buckled, and he had to grab on to Jon's shoulders for balance.
"Bed?" Jon asked, grinning wickedly at him as he rubbed his lower lip over the head.
"Fuck, yes, get over here," Brendon gasped, cupping his hand around the back of Ryan's neck to pull him up into more of a sitting position, so that Brendon was practically sitting in his lap.
Spencer leaned over them and tipped Brendon's head out of the kiss to lick deep into his mouth, until Jon pushed Spencer further back onto the bed. Their mouths parted wetly as Spencer's back hit the pillows, and the dazed, slightly crooked smirk Brendon gave him was possibly the best thing ever.
Until Jon quickly shed his jeans and settled in between Spencer's legs, ducking his head down to swallow Spencer completely.
"Holy shit," Spencer yelled, accidentally banging his head against the headboard. He had enough presence of mind to wince a little, and Ryan reached back and rubbed the back of Spencer's head, laughing softly.
"Easy there," Ryan said, leaning back enough to bring their lips together. Spencer whimpered into his mouth, both hands braced against the mattress as he kissed Ryan back fiercely and tried to keep from coming immediately in Jon's mouth. His lips felt bruised, but he didn't care, he couldn't not be kissing Ryan. Without realizing, Spencer arched his hips up and thrust slowly into Jon's mouth in time to his tongue sliding against Ryan's.
"Jesus fuck," he heard Brendon breathe, right as Jon sucked hard and curled his hand around the base of Spencer's cock. Spencer broke out of the kiss to cry out again, and Brendon used that as an opportunity to swoop in and scrape his teeth over Spencer's swollen lower lip.
"Spence," Brendon whispered. "I want to watch you fuck Jon."
Against Spencer's ear, Ryan moaned and nodded.
Spencer couldn't breathe, could barely process the words Brendon was saying. He blinked a few times and tried to think, but it was especially hard when Brendon pulled back and bent down to lick at Jon's jaw, said, "Would you let him?" in a rough voice Spencer had only ever heard when Brendon joked around about his "sex voice"—which, as it turned out, really was his sex voice.
In response, Jon sucked him one last time and pulled off, looking up at Spencer through his lashes. "Yeah," he gasped, lips shiny and red, and he turned his head to lick into Brendon's mouth and throw an arm around his neck to hold him in close.
"Of course he wants to watch," Ryan breathed, low enough for probably only Spencer to hear. He grinned wolfishly, chewing his lip as his eyes raked over the two of them kissing lazily. "I should've known."
Spencer laughed breathlessly, wanting Jon's mouth back on him, but at the same time he couldn't stop imagining how it would feel to be sliding inside of him, how tight he'd be. It took a moment before he realized that Ryan was whispering his exact thoughts out loud, only this time he must've said them louder, because Jon pulled out of the kiss and beamed at Ryan, his hair mussed from where Brendon had been clinging to him. He crawled over Spencer's legs and braced both hands at either side of Ryan's hips and kissed him hard and fast.
Spencer could feel their breath puffing out hotly near his face, could hear each soft gasp they made, and he felt both jealous and pleased that they could kiss like this and let him see. He reached a hand out and let his fingers skim over Ryan's cheek, the slight sheen of sweat along Jon's jaw, and they both leaned into his touch without breaking apart.
"Here," he heard Brendon whisper, and a small bottle was pressed into Spencer's hand. He forced himself to look away from Ryan and Jon to find he was holding a bottle of hotel lotion, and Brendon was sweeping his hand back and forth over Spencer's stomach as he said, "It's all we've got, I think it should work—"
"Yeah, it'll work," Spencer said, already squeezing a handful out into his palm. He slicked his fingers up slowly and got to his knees on the bed, slowly jerking himself as he moved behind Jon while Brendon scrambled up by the pillows.
"Ryan, Ryan, let Jon up for sec," Brendon said against Ryan's cheek.
Their mouths parted with a slick pop, and Spencer saw Jon rub his thumb over Ryan's mouth before leaning back.
"Would you?" he whispered, and Ryan's eyes flared as he smiled with one corner of his mouth and nodded. Spencer wasn't sure what Jon meant, until he saw Ryan sit up and tuck his legs underneath him. He slid his hands up Jon's thighs and bent down to kiss at the tip of Jon's cock.
Brendon said softly, "Oh man," and Spencer swallowed hard and almost forgot what he'd been about to do. He tightened his hand around his dick and picked up the pace a bit when Ryan opened his mouth and swallowed Jon down.
Jon's eyes fluttered closed and his weight fell back against Spencer a little as he whimpered, his hips stuttering. Having Jon's heat pressed against his chest brought Spencer back to the moment; he mouthed at the curve of Jon's neck and slid his slick fingers over the crack of his ass, letting himself look down over Jon's shoulder every once in a while to take in Ryan's blissed out expression, how Jon's cock kept disappearing into his mouth.
"Have you ever wondered what that would look like?"
Spencer blinked slowly, the tips of his fingers just barely pressing into Jon's ass, and saw Brendon grinning at him as he draped himself easily over Ryan's side. "Have you?" Brendon asked again, lower this time.
He huffed against Jon's neck and bit at his jaw, pushing his fingers deeper and groaning at the tight resistance. "Yeah," Spencer said, and to be honest, he'd thought about all of this at one point or another, way in the back of his mind in tiny, locked corners. But at the moment, he couldn't remember why he'd never bothered to say anything until now.
Jon gasped, "Fuck, Spence," and canted his hips back onto Spencer's fingers, and Spencer's eyes opened enough to catch Brendon's satisfied smile as he held his own fingers out and pressed them against Jon's open mouth.
"Help me out, Walker," he said, and Jon didn't hesitate at all before swiping his tongue out over Brendon's fingertips, his knuckles. He sucked three fingers into his mouth even as he bucked into Ryan's, moaning roughly when Spencer twisted his hand a little. When Brendon finally pulled his hand back, Jon was gasping, his weight almost completely on Spencer, and Spencer's cheek was damp from rubbing along the sheen of sweat along Jon's temple.
"Fucking beautiful," Brendon breathed, and Spencer wanted to laugh at the fact that he couldn't seem to stop talking. But he lost that thought the instant he saw Brendon's slick hand slide down the small of Ryan's back and tease over his ass.
Jon swore and sort of flailed his hand out at Brendon, whose smile went from almost predatory to bright and eager as he draped himself along Ryan's side and leaned in to kiss Jon, grinning as their mouths met. It was slow and lazy, completely at odds with everything else going on, but Spencer thought it was oddly perfect, especially when Jon whimpered into Brendon's mouth as Spencer finally withdrew his fingers, only to replace them with the head of his cock a few seconds later.
"God," Jon groaned as Spencer pushed further inside. Brendon practically licked the sound out of Jon's mouth.
What was even more odd was the bloom of heat in his stomach when Brendon pulled away from Jon and kissed the corner of Spencer's mouth lightly. Spencer heard something very much like a breathless laugh from Jon, and the next thing he knew, Jon was smiling against Spencer's cheek, whispering, "I think he feels left out," before he moaned and canted his hips back, letting Spencer sink all the way up to the hilt inside him.
Brendon kissed the tip of Spencer's nose and said, "I do, but that's okay, 'm making up for it." The end of his sentence was punctuated by Ryan suddenly groaning loudly, his mouth still full of Jon's cock, and Spencer's throat went dry as he watched Brendon's finger slide inside Ryan's ass in one smooth move. Brendon pressed close to Ryan's side and began whispering into Ryan's ear things Spencer couldn't hear, but whatever they were, they made Ryan moan loud enough to almost let Jon slip out of his mouth.
It was all too much, the sight of Brendon fucking Ryan with his fingers, the sounds of Ryan gradually coming apart mingled with Jon's increasingly desperate, broken sighs, and the feel of Jon tight and hot clenched around his dick. Spencer didn't even realize he was holding his breath until Jon reached back and tangled his fingers into Spencer's hair.
"Breathe, Spence," he gasped, arching his back when Spencer thrust harder inside him. Somehow his words sparked something in Ryan; he suddenly hollowed his cheeks and sucked harder, his right hand pumping Jon in time with the suction of his mouth, and Spencer felt the instant Jon started to come, his body jerking violently as his head fell back against Spencer's shoulder. Ryan didn't let up, even as Jon groaned and his hips spasmed. Spencer saw the line of Ryan's throat bob several times, and not five seconds after Jon had finished, Brendon hauled Ryan up onto his knees and tilted Ryan's head toward him to kiss Jon's taste from Ryan's mouth.
Spencer was so caught up in the moment that he'd lost his rhythm, until Jon, still breathless and shaking, ground down against Spencer and growled, "Your turn."
And that was pretty much all it took to send Spencer over the edge. He wrapped his right arm around Jon's chest in a fierce grip and held him stationary as he pounded into him, over and over, until flecks of light shimmered behind Spencer's closed eyes and he came hard, his yell slightly muffled by Jon's sweat-damp hair.
It took Spencer a moment to realize that Jon was laughing, his body completely boneless against Spencer's chest as he rolled his head back along Spencer's shoulder and said, "Holy shit, I'm dead."
Spencer sucked enough air into his lungs to grin and say, "Can't die yet, it's not over."
His words were punctuated by a hissed fuck from Ryan, followed immediately by a loud thunk of someone hitting the headboard. Spencer forced his eyes open and saw Brendon sprawled against the head of the bed, with his shoulders at a weird angle and Ryan riding his lap, facing Jon and Spencer. Ryan had his hands braced against Brendon's thighs to keep his balance, and in the meantime Brendon was gripping Ryan's hip tightly, his knuckles almost white, while his right hand pumped Ryan's cock. Both their eyes were closed, and Ryan's head was bowed, his hair tangled and damp across his forehead; he bit his lip and moaned with each press of his hips into Brendon's upward thrusts, and it seemed like Brendon was holding him too tightly to let Ryan buck into his hand.
The rhythm looked frustrating and intense, like they were both fighting for control of it, but also too desperate to do anything but let it happen. Spencer barely had his breath back, but he still felt a twinge of want in his chest when Brendon pushed up into Ryan hard and groaned, "C'mon, Ryan, c'mon," and twisted his hand. Ryan tipped his head back and opened his eyes, looking straight at Spencer and Jon as he came over Brendon's hand, mouth open and slack.
Spencer was still buried inside Jon, and he felt Jon shift against him and gasp softly as Spencer's dick twitched. "Jesus," Jon whispered just as Brendon's back arched. He yelled a blue streak that, oddly enough, ended in gosh. It made Spencer smile crookedly as he skimmed his teeth over Jon's shoulder.
Once Brendon dropped his hands, Ryan lifted his hips and rolled off of him, collapsing on the bed with his legs still tangled with Brendon's. Jon made a humming sound deep in his throat and slowly moved off Spencer to crawl across the bed and wiggle his way in between the two of them, tucking his face up against Brendon's neck.
Ryan cracked an eye open and grinned at Spencer, his cheeks flushed as he gasped for breath. He flicked a finger at him, which Spencer immediately interpreted as get over here.
But Spencer just sat back on his heels and took in the sight of them wrapped up in each other, all sweaty and gorgeous and perfect. They were his, and Spencer's heart started pounding again as he rolled that thought around in his brain, thinking about everything they had to do to each other, things they had yet to say, and they had all the time in the world for it, too, because—
Suddenly, the fuzzy red haze he'd grown accustomed to over the last several hours started to dissipate a little. Spencer blinked a few times and stared down at his hands, waiting for the tingling sensation just below his skin to come back.
"Spence?"
He glanced up and saw Jon watching him carefully. "What's the matter?" Jon asked, stretching languidly out against the bed and letting his toes nudge Spencer's knee.
"I..." He was tired, that was all, tired and worn out by orgasms.
Brendon sat up and grabbed Spencer by the arm, hauling him half onto Jon and half on Ryan. "Don't tell me you're not a cuddler, Spence, I know that's bullshit." He yawned and draped himself over Jon so he could nuzzle Spencer's chin, sighing contentedly.
Spencer told himself that the only reason he startled at the touch of Brendon's mouth against his cheek was because his nerves were shot. "Cuddling's fine, totally fine," he murmured, skimming his lips over Ryan's cheek. He tried to ignore the small twinge in his chest telling him that something wasn't right and let himself melt into the pile of naked limbs and body heat; he fell asleep with Jon's hand splayed possessively over the small of his back, Ryan's breath puffing softly over his neck, and Brendon pretty much stretched out over the three of them with his cheek pressed against Spencer's stomach.
~~
Like any normal guy, Spencer was used to dreaming about sex and waking up in the morning with a hard-on digging into the mattress. It was more difficult on the nights they slept on the bus, because he couldn't simply roll out of bed and trudge to the bathroom to beat off; covert masturbation was a lifestyle on tour.
He woke up to soft light filtering in through the curtains, his skin still buzzing from a dream involving lots of head...which may have also included someone who vaguely looked like Ryan. No big deal, really, Spencer could admit to himself that he tended to have sex dreams about his bandmates on more than one occasion. It didn't mean anything.
That is, until he yawned and tried to roll his hips a little against the mattress for a hint of friction, and the mattress sighed.
Spencer's eyes flew open.
He was laying almost sideways on the bed with his mouth against the top of someone's spine, and that someone looked a hell of a lot like Jon. His knee was tucked between someone's legs, and Spencer realized with a start that he was, in fact, grinding his dick against Jon's ass. Luckily, though, Jon seemed dead to the world.
Spencer took a deep breath and rolled over very slowly, only he then found himself nose to nose with a naked Brendon, who blinked sleepily at him and smiled, rubbing the back of his hand over his nose. His cheeks were pink from sleep, and his hair was plastered over his forehead.
"Morning," Brendon whispered.
Spencer swallowed. "Um. Hi?" He lifted his head off the pillow and saw Ryan on the other side of Brendon, sleeping on his stomach with one arm draped over Brendon's stomach.
Every moment, every touch, every single thing they did the night before, came back to Spencer in a rush of heat. He flushed and tried not to immediately scramble off the bed, but...oh god, it wasn't a dream, was it?
Brendon chewed his lip, not meeting Spencer's eyes. "I, um. Think that red bottle was possibly, maybe, like. Sex voodoo. Or something."
Spencer shut his eyes and wished he could just sink into the bed and disappear. "That's impossible," he whispered, even though, in a bizarre, insane way, it all made perfect sense; why he hadn't freaked out about kissing any of them, or why getting naked and having sex with his band had seemed like a perfectly good idea at the time.
"No, it's not." Brendon shook his head against his pillow. "We didn't know what was in that bottle, Spence, but we both sniffed it."
He could feel his heart starting to pound faster and faster as the repercussions of what transpired last night began to race through his brain. Fuck, he'd ruined the band, there was no way they were going to get over this, Ryan probably wouldn't even look him in the eye from now on, and Jon—Jon might just leave and go back to Chicago and not say another word to any of them.
"Hey." Spencer felt a hand cup his cheek. "Spence, it'll be okay. Really."
"How?" He was shaking a little, and he really wished he wasn't naked. "I've fucked up everything. We were drugged and had a goddamn orgy, and it's my fault."
He didn't expect Brendon's soft laugh, or the kiss on the mouth. Spencer figured at least he still had Brendon when everything else would probably be gone.
"Spence, only you and me sniffed the bottle."
He frowned. "So?"
"So, Jon and Ryan didn't have any contact with it at all." Brendon grinned harder, swiping his thumb over Spencer's bottom lip. "Which means they weren't drugged."
Spencer huffed and batted Brendon's hand away. "Which also means you and I took advantage of them." His stomach felt full of lead.
"Dammit, haven't you ever watched Buffy the Vampire Slayer? Don't you know anything about magic?" Brendon reached down and poked Spencer in the ribs. "Sometimes all it takes to make someone realize what they want is a nudge in the right direction."
"That makes no fucking sense."
"Only it does. Think about it—can you honestly say you've never wanted me? Or Jon? Or Ryan? Ever?"
Spencer glared, blushing a deeper pink.
"My point exactly. And the same goes for all of us. Jon and Ryan didn't have to sniff the red bottle, because all it took was the two of us getting over our inhibitions to make them want it, too." His touch turned softer, fingertips spreading gently over Spencer's sternum. "You didn't ruin anything, and we didn't take advantage of anyone. All we did was give ourselves a nudge."
"How..." Spencer licked his lips and tried very hard not to completely believe every word Brendon just said. "How can you be so sure?"
Brendon shrugged. "I just know." Then he leaned close and kissed Spencer, slow and easy, and Spencer sighed into his mouth, letting himself buy into it all for just a moment.
Behind him, Jon stirred and made a soft, sleepy noise. "'s goin' on?" he mumbled, rolling over and spooning up tight against Spencer's back, his arm flopped across Spencer's stomach.
Brendon grinned and said, without breaking completely away from the kiss, "I'm kissing Spence out of a freak out."
Jon hummed again and nuzzled his nose over Spencer's neck. "Freak out?"
"He thinks we didn't really want to sex him up last night."
"Ah." Jon bit Spencer's ear gently. "Is he better now?"
Spencer said, only slightly breathless, "Spencer thinks you both have morning breath."
From the other side of the bed, Ryan said, completely coherent and without a trace of sleepiness, "Less talk, more sleep, please."
"Ross, tell Spence you wanted to see him naked last night so he'll stop freaking out," Jon said into Spencer's hair, his middle and index finger tracing patterns over Spencer's bellybutton.
There was a few grumbled words, then, "Unless he slipped me a love potion?"
Brendon dissolved into hysterics that lead to Ryan smacking him across the chest with his pillow and Spencer trying to kick him out of bed and Jon frowning in confusion. But it ended with Brendon pining Ryan to the bed with a deep kiss while Spencer trailed his fingers over the lines of their bodies as Jon nosed his way over Spencer's shoulders and neck.
When they got back to the bus an hour later, Spencer dug out one of Ryan's old scarves and carefully wrapped up the little red bottle, tucking it into the corner of his bunk.
"Magic," he whispered to himself, and went back into the lounge to pile onto the couch with the rest of his band.