And God said, “This shit is cray.”

Oh my god, everyone in Inception fandom needs to stop what they're doing and go read sparkledark's fic, Late Night Phone Call, which is like a whole bunch of words about Arthur as sleep hotline counselor and his snarky, annoying, sexy British caller who happens to be named Eames. BASICALLY IT IS AMAZING AND RACHEL WROTE IT FOR ME FOR dream_holiday AND IT IS EVERYTHING I COULD WANT FROM A STORY EVER.

WHERE IS THE EXPLODING OVARIES GIF WHEN I NEED IT????? I feel like the biggest creeper when I say sometimes I just want to rub my face on his shoulders/arms and then stare at him all o___o.

/o\

HERE READ SOME AWESOME PORN:

Pavlov's Bell by whiskyrunner - catboy!Arthur and werewolf!Eames SET IN CANON, OKAY. I cannot articulate the levels of hotness this fic goes to, no lie. Arthur goes into heat and there is MATING.

Lap It Up by recrudescence - Okay, yes, another jailbait!Arthur fic, but I will pretty much read anything recrudescence writes because it is like eating my favorite ice cream over and over again. Plus, there is car!sex and lap dances and Cobb being kind of hilariously obtuse. WIN.

And in case you didn't know, ae_match starts today!!!!! There is already some great stuff posted, and you can rest assured there will be TONS MORE throughout the summer. &fandom;

BE PREPARED TO DIE OF UTTER ADORABLENESS.



Fuck, I love polar bears. IDEGAF I am going to Manitoba one of these days to see one in person.



HAVE ANOTHER FIC REC:

A Secret Love by sirona_gs - ARTHUR/EAMES REGENCY AU, so you know I love it. This was written for the Harlequin Challenge at harlequincepted, and it embodies the spirit of this challenge PERFECTLY. Romantic, achy, lovely, I just adored it.


THIS HAS BEEN A POST OF EVERYTHING I LOVE IN THE WORLD: CUTE BB ANIMALS/POLAR BEARS AND ROMANCE NOVELS.

I feel like I shouldn't mention it yet because it might jinx things, but...there's a very good possibility that I might be going to Maui in May. *___________________________* Some friends of ours are getting married there, and while we hadn't initially planned on going to the wedding, some other friends of ours, whom we're much closer to, have suddenly decided to go, which ups the fun meter on this trip by like ten billion. The couple getting married are kind of stupidly rich, and they're having their own booze shipped out to Hawaii (granted, the groom owns a bar, but still). They're staying at the second most expensive hotel on the island--which I'm pretty sure is where a fictional murder took place on Hawaii 5-0 recently, lolololol. Needless to say, we will NOT be staying at that hotel, but we are all about free booze. My friend, whose husband is an old frat brother of Mr. Foxx's and also the best man, has vowed to be "drunk, on the beach, and in a bikini" for the whole trip since she's not in the wedding. I AM ALL FOR THIS PLAN. Oh my god, I want to go SO BADLY. This trip will be epic, you guys, EPIIIIIIC. Perhaps I could be drunk, on the beach, and stalking Scott Caan? MAYBE??

I have got to get my ass in gear again and start working out more, ugh. Stupid cold weather, you are not conducive to running. DDD: HAWAII BIKINI, YOU WILL BE MINE. *shakes fist*

Fandom-wise, have some things:

- inception_art Fest!! This is looks like SO much fun, mostly because I am selfish and Inception fandom has some of the best artists around and I want ALL THE THINGS DRAWN EVER. Prompting starts tomorrow! Can't waiiiiiiit. \o/

- NEW THEME UP AT harlequincepted: FIRST TIMES. :DDDDD GO WRITE LOTS OF FIRST KISSES/TOUCHES/BLOWJOBS/TOPPINGS/WHATEVER, PLEASE.

- So there's this amazing WIP by skellerbvvt where Eames is sixteen and the perfect embodiment of every lost, angry, frustrated teenager, and Arthur's somehow becomes the one to save/fix him, even though he's 25 and struggling desperately not to give in to poor moral choices and just afk;dskfsgd IT IS SO AMAZING, OKAY, SO AMAZING. This is my favorite WIP right now, and I don't even like WIPs. Heart-wrenchingly good, omg.

- Speaking of bb!Eames (sort of), this...



...makes me want the sequel to my boarding school AU where Eames gets into theater at college and discovers he's actually REALLY TALENTED and starts getting lead roles in the school productions, and Arthur of course goes to all his shows and is all af;dskfsd; *___* in the audience because yes, Eames is talented, but he's also coming into his own and having confidence in himself and learning to be comfortable in his own skin and it's SO GODDAMN HOT ARTHUR CAN BARELY STAND IT. And then afterward they go back to Arthur's apartment and fuck up against the wall or something and Eames keeps gasping things like, "Knowing you're there, watching me, it gets me hard sometimes while I'm on stage," and Arthur can't last after that.

ANYWAY.

HEY THERE ARE GOLDEN GLOBES TONIGHT! I hear that JGL fellow is presenting. There might be a live blog in order...

Relating back to my earlier post, GO READ THIS FIC IMMEDIATELY:

To Capture, Conquer, and Court by toomuchplor, i.e. HARLEQUIN RENAISSANCE ROMANCE OF MY HEART. Arthur is the prudent tutor and Eames is the rakish lord and a;fkdsfs I WISH I HAD WRITTEN THIS BUT I WOULD NEVER HAVE DONE IT JUSTICE.

There needs to be an Inception challenge along the lines of harlequin_bands, seriously. I THINK I NEED TO MAKE THIS HAPPEN. OR SOMETHING.

In conclusion, needs more Arthur/Eames Harlequin romances FOREVER.

Thank you to everyone who gave their congrats to me yesterday! I promise I will respond to everyone's comments! Yesterday was a crazy EMOTIONAL DRAIN of every mood under the sun, and while I collapsed into bed at like 9, I only slept for a few hours before I woke up and my brain was all, "OH MY GOD WHAT HAVE I DONE I AM NOT CUT OUT FROM THIS NEW JOB ACK," and yeah. There was a lot of that. I'm much more zen this morning, thankfully.

Am I a horrible person if I say I do not want to read a 20k+ Sherlock Holmes story if it is rated below R? Sorry, I JUST REALLY NEED PORN. I mean, I guess I'm like this with most fandoms? But really, if I wanted to read 20k+ PG-rated Sherlock Holmes fic, I'd read canon.

Speaking of porn, I owe people boxing porn. I plan to make good on this promise.

Also! Have another Hawaii 5-0 fic rec, which is AMAZING: Tell You What (You're Gonna Do) by giddygeek. Absolutely fantastic banter and delicious UST that has equally delicious pay-off. Not to mention DANNY WILLIAMS. ♥♥♥

Okay, so while I'm not a fan of the anon meme, I have to say that this MADE ME LOL SO HARD. If my J.Crew obsession is the only thing people will remember me for in this fandom, SO BE IT. :D


SO HEY THE KISSING MEME CONTINUES! I think I speak for a lot of you when I say that it's definitely been my happy place this week.

Before I list some more of my fic favorites, here is an art round up! ARTISTS, I ADORE YOU, FULL STOP.

- Eames kissing Arthur's hand by innueneko

- A/E makeouts by platina

- Eskimo Kisses!! by aredblush

- Ghost!Eames from a Hogwarts AU by platina

- Fischer/Saito by johanirae

- Deadly Peck by loobeeinthesky

- Just a Little... by red_rahl


And now, another batch of my favorites!:

- Royal Pain by daisy_chan Monarchy AU!

- crimson and clover (over and over) by sometimesalways Soooo intense and hot and yummy, ugh.

- Temeraire crossover by edoraslass I still have yet to read this series, but Eames as a hyperactive dragon who loves his captain, aka Arthur? YES, PLEASE!

- the morning after the first night by jeannedecarnin Sweet and hesitant. Boys. ♥

- canon!fic set during the movie by eleveninches This is my personal canon from here on out, omg.

- Arthur has a revelation by airgiodslv I mean, it's Jen, so you know it's awesome. Trust me!

College AU is, um, still going as well. Be patient? I am rubbish with WIPs, seriously.

NOW EVERYONE GO WRITE MOOOOOOOOOORE KISSING. \o/

My awesome douchebaggery moment of today? Making my student workers go to Panera to buy me bagels AND get me coffee exactly the way I like it. As in putting in the cream/sweetener/cinnamon ALL OF IT to my specifications. Yes, I know, I'm an asshole. But it's Friday morning, no one is in the office today, and the girls get bagels out of the deal, too, so. /tyrant

I am slightly disturbed that The Social Network is getting insanely good reviews. I'm ambivalent on my feelings toward Aaron Sorkin, having never watched an episode of The West Wing in my life (although I do love A Few Good Men), but I do like David Fincher movies. However, all the hype and "it's-really-a-movie-about-RELATIONSHIPS" doesn't change the fact that it's a freaking two hour film about freaking Facebook. Is this really supposed to be the "defining film of a generation"? Because it uses tech-speak accurately? Ugh, idk idk, I am just adamantly against this movie on principle. And if it ends up stealing all the Oscars/Golden Globes from Inception, I will be LIVID. DO NOT MAKE ME RELIVE THE AWARDS SEASON HEARTBREAK OF BROKEBACK MOUNTAIN, HOLLYWOOD, FFS. (I will say, though, that Justin Timberlake getting Oscar buzz is really awesome. LOL never making music again. /o\)

Am back to writing on Cupid!Eames, because I can't help myself. I think I'm really just channeling Jeremy Piven, but oh well.

hackthis has already made a fantastic recs post for the week here, but here are a few more for you all.

Technically a Virtue by mirabella - A mark's execrable taste in kitsch means that Eames has to convincingly forge wings. He's extremely bitter about this, until it becomes obvious that wings have some impressive fringe benefits. WING!FIC! This isn't usually my bag, but dear god, this is everything I would ever want from a fic like this. Not to mention there is toppy!Arthur and copious images of Eames shirtless and tattooed and WEARING SWAN WINGS. as;kfsdkfsdjf

Plus One by someidiothasice - Eames follows Arthur one night to see where he disappears to. He ends up at a gay club and to his surprise finds out that Arthur is an absolutely dirty dancer. He loves grinding with all the guys and this makes Eames unbelievably jealous. Cue him making his claim on Arthur. Yes, I have a thing for the club trope, WHAT IS YOUR POINT? Basically my entire thought process on this fic boils down to "OM NOM NOM DELICIOUS PORN" in my best Cookie Monster voice.

Most Likely to Succeed by alex_bl - Eames drags Arthur to his high school reunion. Being around the same age as Arthur, I totally identified with his reluctance to face the people he went to school with ten years ago, but Eames here is just so...SO HIM.

Personal Eternity by veritas_nescio - slave!fic, where Arthur is bought by Eames. This is not the fic you think it is! It's quiet, unassuming, and somehow works its way around canon in the most interesting ways. Incorporating an imperialistic AU to the dreamscape 'verse is fascinating, and my only complaint is that this story is not nearly long enough--it really should be novel-length.

What else is new, bbs?

I have been far too weepy and lol overinvested in fannish things lately. It's a side-effect of RL things, I know, but still, WTF self. But anyway, here are some things that have made me weepy recently:

Faster than you go when you're alone by subterrain - Jon/Spencer summer 2006 fic, but unlike any summer 2006 fic you'll find out there. This is the treatment I wish the pairing would get more often, a treatment that's reserved a lot more for Ryan/Brendon. Jon is fucked up and passive aggressive, Spencer is fucked up and trying to be the grown-up, and ugh ugh ugh, this story. It reminds why this pairing is my die-hard bandom OTP. *draws hearts around fic*

Insignificant Possession by paperflower86 - Holmes/Watson fanart that's gorgeous and utterly heartbreaking. By the last frame I was a wibbling mess.

THINGS THAT DID NOT MAKE ME CRY!:

This Holmes/Watson fanvid set to Kelly Clarkson's "I Do Not Hookup". SO adorable and cute!

All In by fictionalaspect - Panic GSF, cabin era! OMG, I haven't read good GSF in forever, and this one is HILARIOUS and full of kinks you wouldn't be caught dead reading normally, but here it just works (um, that's my way of warning for watersports, I guess? >.>). Seriously, though, totally awesome.

This picture of Jon Walker:

( not photogenic my ass )

I am determined to make this week be happier than last week. In a week and half I'll be in Chicago? :D?

Remember when I posted a week or so ago saying I wanted a story about Holmes turning into a kid? Well, zarah5 went and WROTE IT FOR ME!! A Silly Phase is everything I could have hoped for with a fic like this--clueless-yet-exasperated Watson, grossly-intelligent-bb!Holmes, and wonderful resolution. And there's adorable art, too!

Go read iiiit. *_______*