And God said, “This shit is cray.”

If It Kills Me
Jon/Spencer | 17100 words | NC-17

Spencer Smith knows there must be a catch when Jon Walker − his despised FBI partner − offers to transfer out of Chicago and far, far away from him. There's a catch, all right: Spencer has to spend one sexy night with the untamed playboy. Okay, so the guy's hot. So his reputation in the bedroom is the stuff of legend. So Spencer's been in a dry spell for, oh, over a year. So maybe one night to be rid of him isn't so unbearable. But once the sheets have cooled, Spencer's just starting to heat up, and moving away is the last thing on Jon's mind...

For harlequin_bands. Plot and summary stolen shamelessly from Erin McCarthy's novella Miss Extreme Congeniality. Title stolen from Jason Mraz.

Hearts galore to everyone I threw tidbits of this at over the last month, and to my faithful betas, gobsmackit and siryn99.


( i still can't say it )

Anyone Perfect Must Be Lying (Jon's Bookstore II) (1/3)
Jon/Spencer, Frank/Gerard, Ryan/Brendon, Pete/Patrick | 15200 words | R

Jon likes to think his problems began when the coffee shop across the street opened up. In all honesty, though, they began the day Frank moved in with Gerard a month before Valentine's Day.

Happy Birthday to my wonderful, insanely amazing imntsaying. I present you with more bookstore AU that's probably ridiculous, but definitely full of love. Lots and lots of love. ♥ I hope you like it!

For anyone who hasn't read Jon's Bookstore I, it might help to do so before reading this. Many, many thanks to gobsmackit, sweetrecovery, and siryn99 for kicking my ass on this fic. *g*


( what if I lost my direction? )

This is Not the Story of Your Life
Brendon/Spencer, Jon/Ryan, Pete/Patrick, Frank/Gerard | 4200 words | PG-13

Patrick says, softly, "I'll still have this, right? I mean...I won't forget it all, will I?"

It's not really Brendon's place to tell him how time passes here. No one ever explained it to him, and he'd spent a long time feeling bitter about it until he realized that it wasn't that no one wanted to explain it--it's that no one *could*.

"It's different for everyone," he finally replies slowly, and it's not a lie.


Notes: An AU very, very loosely based on the song "Hotel California" by The Eagles. I started this fic way back in September after watching the acoustic performance over and over late one night. I've always thought the song was about being stuck between life and death (even though the band has stated that the song is about the dark side of Hollywood), and this story somehow came out of that interpretation. It's death!fic, only...not.

Tons of thanks to everyone I threw bits and pieces of this at over the last several months, and to siryn99 and adellyna for the beta work.




"The boundaries between life and death are at best shadowy and vague. Who shall say where one ends and where the other begins?"
~ Edgar Allen Poe

( Tonight they're celebrating a new guest )

I just got back from seeing Iron Man (nnnnnnnguh, Robert Downey Jr., srsly), but I also got a trailer for the new Indiana Jones movie. Which lead me to think about my abandoned AU that I started for reel_band way back when, and I figured, what the hey.

So here you go! Indiana Jones Jon Walker!

Jon Walker and The Raiders of the Lost Ark (or There's a Good Reason These Tombs are Numbered, Honey, You Just Need the Right Archaeologist)
[Jon/Spencer, PG-13]

It begins with Spencer Smith. Well, sort of.


( professor walker )

Being on One Tree Hill Means Never Having to Say You're Sorry
[Alex/Ryland, slight Ryan/Brendon | 2400 words | PG-13]

It's so clichéd and embarrassing, he thinks it's perfectly understandable to be in denial.

First, IF YOU ARE A MEMBER OF COBRA STARSHIP, PLEASE DON'T READ THIS. Or if you insist on it, please don't comment. I like my blissful ignorance. \o/

Second, this is a) completely for txtequilanights and for shleemeri's birthday and b) a continuation of my crazy, self-indulgent high school 'verse that was started here. Thanks as always to adellyna for the beta, even though she's currently suffering from Alex Marshall Plague. ♥

( For almost four years, Ryland’s been in denial )

I'll Be Your Thrill
[Ryan/Spencer, 4000 words, NC-17 for underage shenanigans]

by foxxcub & txtequilanights

Once Spencer figures it out, he doesn't know how he missed it at all.

Yeah, hi, this would be baby!Ryan/Spencer tiems written, like, an obscene amount of times through AIM with Rachel. Please don't judge us, we just really, um, think they're shiny? *hands* Beta'd by shleemeri, because her life is so hard.


( lalala going to hell wheeeee )