"There are pictures of us together, right?" Spencer asks.
Jon has to think. "I think Tom took some at the Christmas party. Why?"
"Immigration needs all kinds of stuff before you can even get a green card marriage." Spencer leans back in his chair, pressing the heels of his palms against his eyes. "I was going to just renew my work visa, but it's too late to do that now. My family doesn't even live in Canada anymore. I don't know what I'd even do up there."
"That sucks," Jon offers, sympathetically.
"So you'll marry me, right?" Spencer pauses. "We can get divorced after - I think it's three years from green card to citizenship. Whatever. We won't be married married. I'd be homeless in Canada, Jon. I just threw down way too much money on a condo."
"Even though you knew you'd be deported," Jon says. "Man. That'd be weird, though, being married to my boss." He wonders how bad a sign it is that he's actually considering this. Spencer's a good guy, and a hard worker, and -- not that this figures into any of Jon's considerations, because they would totally never even consummate the marriage or anything -- kind of hot. Jon is pretty sure those factors would make Spencer a great citizen, or whatever. At the least, he doesn't deserve to get kicked out. Canada's full of moose and shit, and Jon says as much.
"Moose," Spencer repeats.
"Yeah, man, I don't want you to get eaten by a moose." Jon shakes his head, then regrets it, because his head still hurts pretty bad. He doesn't want to make any decisions while hungover. "Let me think about it, okay?"
"You've got maybe a week," Spencer says. "Fuck. Try to decide before then, though. There's way too much paperwork we have to fill out."
"Well, I am a pro at paperwork," Jon says with a shrug. "I'll ... yeah, I'll let you know, man. This really sucks."
"No need to remind me of that."
-
Jon does a stupid, stupid thing: he goes over to Tom's place after work, and gets really, really drunk, yet again, even though it's a week night. That isn't the stupidest thing, though, because he also spills his heart to Tom about the whole stupid thing.
"Man, you've gotta do it," Tom tells him, earnestly. "Immigration laws in this country are so unfair, you know? Don't just let him get kicked out. Besides, you'd make a sweet trophy wife."
"Why am I the wife? There doesn't have to be a wife. Neither of us is going to be the wife, dude."
Tom looks a little too crestfallen. "No?"
"No. And I don't want to know why you're acting so disappointed, man. The fuck."
"Call him," Tom says. "Tell him you're gonna do it."
"Okay," Jon says. "Yeah, dude, you're right, awesome. I'm going to - I'm getting married for justice."
He calls and tells Spencer as such. Spencer is incredulous when Jon says so, but -- and Jon should have known this, because he totally scheduled it in the first place -- Spencer's having a business-related dinner with a bunch of clients, so he can't really talk. Except, apparently, to jubilantly tell the whole table that he's getting married, and to tell Jon, "Love you, Jonny. Bye."
Jon blanches a little. "Tom. Tom, what did I just do?"
"You just saved a man's life."
"I did not," Jon says. "I just had my boss tell me he loves me. Man, shit, we're gonna have to fake being engaged to the immigration people, aren't we?"
"You can get through this," Tom says. "I've got your back."
I... unless you had plans for the idea, I might need to finish this thing off. I don't wanna jack the idea any more than I already did if you wanted it, though, ahahahaha.
though i keep realizing that this is going to have to be even more of an AU than i previously imagined, since god damn it america citizenship is on the federal level so you totally can't even get married for citizenship if you're gay (even if it's a legit marriage). etc. etc.
I BUMMED MYSELF OUT OKAY ;___; anyway now back to the happy fantasy land where DOMA doesn't exist tra la la~~~
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i did another thing
Jon has to think. "I think Tom took some at the Christmas party. Why?"
"Immigration needs all kinds of stuff before you can even get a green card marriage." Spencer leans back in his chair, pressing the heels of his palms against his eyes. "I was going to just renew my work visa, but it's too late to do that now. My family doesn't even live in Canada anymore. I don't know what I'd even do up there."
"That sucks," Jon offers, sympathetically.
"So you'll marry me, right?" Spencer pauses. "We can get divorced after - I think it's three years from green card to citizenship. Whatever. We won't be married married. I'd be homeless in Canada, Jon. I just threw down way too much money on a condo."
"Even though you knew you'd be deported," Jon says. "Man. That'd be weird, though, being married to my boss." He wonders how bad a sign it is that he's actually considering this. Spencer's a good guy, and a hard worker, and -- not that this figures into any of Jon's considerations, because they would totally never even consummate the marriage or anything -- kind of hot. Jon is pretty sure those factors would make Spencer a great citizen, or whatever. At the least, he doesn't deserve to get kicked out. Canada's full of moose and shit, and Jon says as much.
"Moose," Spencer repeats.
"Yeah, man, I don't want you to get eaten by a moose." Jon shakes his head, then regrets it, because his head still hurts pretty bad. He doesn't want to make any decisions while hungover. "Let me think about it, okay?"
"You've got maybe a week," Spencer says. "Fuck. Try to decide before then, though. There's way too much paperwork we have to fill out."
"Well, I am a pro at paperwork," Jon says with a shrug. "I'll ... yeah, I'll let you know, man. This really sucks."
"No need to remind me of that."
-
Jon does a stupid, stupid thing: he goes over to Tom's place after work, and gets really, really drunk, yet again, even though it's a week night. That isn't the stupidest thing, though, because he also spills his heart to Tom about the whole stupid thing.
"Man, you've gotta do it," Tom tells him, earnestly. "Immigration laws in this country are so unfair, you know? Don't just let him get kicked out. Besides, you'd make a sweet trophy wife."
"Why am I the wife? There doesn't have to be a wife. Neither of us is going to be the wife, dude."
Tom looks a little too crestfallen. "No?"
"No. And I don't want to know why you're acting so disappointed, man. The fuck."
"Call him," Tom says. "Tell him you're gonna do it."
"Okay," Jon says. "Yeah, dude, you're right, awesome. I'm going to - I'm getting married for justice."
He calls and tells Spencer as such. Spencer is incredulous when Jon says so, but -- and Jon should have known this, because he totally scheduled it in the first place -- Spencer's having a business-related dinner with a bunch of clients, so he can't really talk. Except, apparently, to jubilantly tell the whole table that he's getting married, and to tell Jon, "Love you, Jonny. Bye."
Jon blanches a little. "Tom. Tom, what did I just do?"
"You just saved a man's life."
"I did not," Jon says. "I just had my boss tell me he loves me. Man, shit, we're gonna have to fake being engaged to the immigration people, aren't we?"
"You can get through this," Tom says. "I've got your back."
"Awesome," Jon says, weakly.
"And I've got more whiskey."
"Awesome," Jon repeats, sincere this time.
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I BUMMED MYSELF OUT OKAY ;___; anyway now back to the happy fantasy land where DOMA doesn't exist tra la la~~~