Secret love babies at Space Camp (part 115 of ??)

[foxxcub]

There seems to be a bad!fic theme on my flist these past few days, LOL. I'm just one of those people that can't read bad!fic for fun, unless it's MST3K'd, a la svu_mst and the like, or when blondiusmaximus reenacts them for me (because really, there's nothing better than having Blayne do her impersonations of Frank being fucked by a squid *___*).

Why all this bleakness and violence and unending angst, Panic fic writers? I can maybe understand death and destruction in MCR fic (although really, Gerard gleefaces over HAMSTERS FOR CHRISTMAS, why would he chop Mikey's body up into a million little pieces and then go sit in the rain naked and, like, draw a picture about it?), but can you really write Jon as a horrible bigoted high school bully who punches people when he wears slippers to m&gs? I mean, I realize this face just SCREAMS evil thoughts and a violence shimmer beneath the surface, but does it really need to be in fic? How can you look at these retarded faces and think, "Gee, I suddenly have a BURNING DESIRE to write fic where they're all drug addicted losers living in a halfway house, and Hobo has doggie AIDS!"

harriet_vane and I have been writing back and forth on a story where Ryan and Spencer decide to rob a small town bank because Spencer's sisters are being held for ransom and they don't know how else to get five million dollars, and Brendon's the poor assistant manager who doesn't have the keys to the vault, and Jon's the town's unsuspecting deputy sheriff who decides to swing by the bank to say hi to his BFF Brendon. Hostage situations occur! Ryan fires a gun that Spencer thought didn't have real bullets! Jon can't get back-up because all the rest of the cops in the area are either sick or on vacation! Somehow romantic shenanigans happen, idk.

Favorite bad!fic cliches, anyone? I'm curious! If I rule out secret mpreg, does that narrow the field too much?

Comments

[slowlikewine.livejournal.com]

I KNOW RIGHT??! AND SHE HAS A DAUGHTER TOO AND HER HUSBAND IS EITHER DEAD OR RUN OFF, I CAN'T REMEMBER. AND THEN JUST WHEN HE'S DECIDED TO GIVE UP THE WHOLE ROBBING THEM PLAN HIS PARTNER IN CRIME SHOWS UP (B/C TONY DANZA HAS BEEN FILLING HIM IN ON THE PLAN VIA PHONE) AND THE PARTNER INSIST THEY GO THROUGH WITH IT AND THREATENS MICHAEL J. FOX'S MOM IF HE DOESN'T!! IT'S SO GOOODDD/BAAADDDDD!!!

Maybe I should put it on my wishlist? Someone might write it for me us??

[foxxcub.livejournal.com]

YES, OF COURSE HE DOES, AND OF COURSE THE PLAN FALLS THROUGH BECAUSE HE'S IN LOVE WITH BACK TO THE FUTURE GIRL, RIGHT?

Do iiiiit. \o/

[slowlikewine.livejournal.com]

If I remember correctly, he ends up saving the day and then turns himself in. He goes to jail for a while (although it's a pretty short sentence b/c the judge takes into consideration that he pretty much SAVED THE WHOLE TOWN AND CHRISTMAS AND BABY REINDEER TO BOOT) and when he gets out he and Back to the Future girl live happily ever after with their reindeer and Betty White.

Dude. I'm totally doing it. But Betty White has to stay in the story. She can't be recast. She's just too good.

[foxxcub.livejournal.com]

I AGREE WITH EVERYTHING IN THIS COMMENT.

[carnilia.livejournal.com]

YESYESYES.

BETTY WHITE IS THE BEST PART.