foxxcub | (no subject)

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panique a la disco

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(Updating from earlier, because I fail sometimes. ♥)

So apparently Ryan used to horde his fan gifts, and right now

jocondite and I are discussing the validity of Teddy Bear Sockpuppet Theater, wherein Brendon and Jon steal Ryan's teddy bears and make sockpuppets and put on inappropriate plays with them. Sometimes Spencer does the voices and MAKES GROWLY NOISES, and Jon has names for all them and knows how they're related (the stuffed rabbit is the stuffed Dalmatians step-brother from a previous marriage, etc.) and which instruments they play.

Much like this:

...which has always been my Panic self-portrait, anyway. :D

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"IS NO ONE LISTENING? WE AREN'T GETTING MARRIED!" BUT IT'S TOO LATE, BECAUSE BRENDON SAYS, "RYAN, YOU SHOULD DESIGN THE INVITATIONS!" AND RYAN'S EYES GET ALL CRAZY STARING OFF INTO THE DISTANCE AND HE MUTTERS, "FLOATING FLOCKS OF CANDLESWANS...WEARING *HATS*!" AND SPENCER SAYS "JON WALKER, YOU ARE SUPPOSED TO BE THE NORMAL ONE!" BUT JON AND BRENDON ARE HAVING A VERY EXCITING DISCUSSION ABOUT WEDDING FLIP FLOPS AND SPENCER KNOWS IT'S PRETTY MUCH TOO LATE.

WEDDING FLIP FLOPS OH. MY. GOD.

BRENDON TRIES TO MAKE ZACK DO ONE OF THOSE INTERNET FORMS THAT MAKES YOU AN ORDAINED MINISTER, BUT ZACK WILL HAVE NONE OF IT, SO THEY GET ERICK TO DO IT INSTEAD.

BRENDON CALLS SHANE! AND HE'S LIKE "WE ARE GETTING MARRIED, COME FLY OUT AND TAKE PICTURES!" AND SHANE CALLS SPENCER AND GOES "....UM. WHAT?" AND SPENCER'S LIKE "I DON'T KNOW, OKAY, BUT APPARENTLY WE ARE HAVING A FOUR WAY CMOMITTMENT CEREMONY AND WE ARE GOING TO WEAR FLIP FLOPS AND HATS AND SILLY VESTS AND ERICK IS GETTING ORDAINED ON THE INTERNET AND BRENDON JUST TALKED ZACK INTO BEING THE RING BEARER. OH MY GOD PLEASE FLY OUT AND MAKE BRENDON TAKE A NAP BEFORE HE MAKES US ALL GET WEDDING TATTOOS, OKAY?"

BRENDON HEARS SPENCER AND YELLS, "OH MY FUCK, WEDDING TATTOOS! SPENCER SMITH, YOU ARE A GENIUS, FOR REAL!!"

"I AM CATCHING A PLANE TONIGHT," SHANE SAYS QUICKLY, AND HANGS UP.

BEST THREAD EVER.

i concur!!!

RYAN AND BRENDON DISCUSS HOW THEY WILL GET GIIIIIIANT TATTOOS THAT MAKE A PICTURE WHEN ALL FOUR OF THEM STAND TOGETHER TO EXPRESS HOW THEY SHARE A SOUL, AND JON AND SPENCER ARE LIKE, "QUICK, ZACK, HELP US DISTRACT THEM WITH HATS!" AND RYAN SAYS "OOOH, WEDDING HATS!" AND IS DISTRACTED BY THE IDEA OF ALL THE DIFFERENT FEATHERS HE CAN PUT ON THEM.

(brb dying foreverrrrrrr)

JON IS KIND OF BUMMED THAT HE CAN'T HAVE DYLAN OR CLOVER BE RING BEARERS, LIKE PETE DID WITH HEMMY, SO BRENDON GOES OUT AND BUYS TWO STUFFED LIFE-SIZED COUGARS, BECAUSE ALL THE LITTLE STUFFED CATS HE SAW WERE REALLY LAME AND THEIR MARRIAGE DESERVES ONLY THE BEST. ZACK'S ALL "...WTF, WHY AM I CARRYING TO HUGE FUCKING COUGARS DOWN THE AISLE?" AND BRENDON'S LIKE, "IF YOU LOVE JON WALKER AT ALL, YOU WILL DO THIS."

(Haaaaaaahahahahahahaha, oh my god.)

ZACK'S LIKE, "DIDN'T I AGREE TO BRING YOUR STUPID RINGS DOWN THE STUPID AISLE ON A STUPID ROSE-COVERED PILLOW WHILE WEARING A HAT COVERED IN ROSES? I THINK I DID. NOW WHAT'S UP WITH THE COUGARS?" AND BRENDON JUST SMILES AND SAYS, "THE COUGARS WILL HELP YOU! AND IF ANYONE GIVES YOU TROUBLE, THEY CAN EAT THEM!" ZACK GOES "...YOU KNOW THEY AREN'T REAL, RIGHT?" AND RYAN PUTS HIS HANDS OVER BRENDON'S EARS AND GOES "SHHH! ZACK!"

THERE IS MINOR DRAMA THAT THEY CAN'T FIND THE RIGHT SHADE OF WHITE FLIP FLOPS, BUT THEN JON FINDS SOME WITH GIANT PLASTIC FLOWERS ATTACHED TO THE TOE PART, AND EVEN SPENCER ADMITS THEY'RE KIND OF NEAT, IF NOT WHITE. RYAN WANTS TO REPLACE HIS FLOWER WITH A ~REAL ONE, EVEN THOUGH ZACK TRIES TO EXPLAIN THAT IT'LL JUST WILT AND DIE BEFORE THE CEREMONY IS OVER. "STOP CRUSHING DREAMS, ZACK," BRENDON SAYS, AND THEN GOES OUT TO FIND RYAN THE PERFECT SHADE OF DAY LILY.

AND THEN THERE'S A LITTLE TINY BIT OF DRAMA ABOUT WHO'S GOING TO WALK DOWN THE AISLE FIRST AND WHO'S GOING TO STAND ON WHICH SIDE, UNTIL JON STOPS THE FIGHTING BY SAYING, "EASY, WE WILL ALL LINK ELBOWS AND WALK DOWN TOGETHER, DUH," WHICH IS CLEARLY THE ONLY ANSWER.

AND THEN IT HITS SPENCER THAT THEY'RE GOING TO GET MARRIED ON A BEACH, AND HE'S ALL "...OMG BEACH," AND BRENDON BEAMS SO HARD AT HIM IT ALMOST BREAKS HIS FACE.

WHICH IS WHY IT'S SO SURPRISING THAT ON THE MORNING OF -- IT'S A SUNRISE WEDDING, THEY ARE GOING TO STAY UP ALL NIGHT WITH THEIR FRIENDS AND SHANE TAKES PICTURES AT THE BONFIRE -- IT'S ACTUALLY BRENDON WHO FREAKS OUT. SPENCER THOUGHT IT WOULD BE HIM, SINCE HE WAS APPARENTLY THE ONLY ONE IN THE BAND WITH NO BIG DESIGNS ON A FOUR WAY WEDDING. BUT IT'S TOTALLY BRENDON WHO GETS AS FAR AS THE FLIP FLOPS AND GOES, "OH MY GOD, YOU GUYS, I DON'T THINK I CAN DO THIS," AND LOOKS LIKE HE MIGHT CRY.

AND JON SIMPLY GOES UP TO HIM, CUPS HIS FACE, AND SAYS SOFTLY, "SAY IT, RIGHT NOW. SAY 'I DO.'" BRENDON BLINKS AT HIM AND GOES, "I...DO?" AND JON KISSED HIM SOFTLY AND SAYS, "SEE, YOU'RE HALFWAY THERE ALREADY."

AWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!

SPENCER GETS ALL UP IN BRENDON'S SPACE AND GOES, "YOU DID NOT MAKE ME DRESS UP LIKE THIS AND CONVINCE ZACK TO CARRY A STUFFED COUGAR AND WEAR A STUPID HAT WITH FEATHERS ON IT TO CHICKEN OUT, URIE. GOT IT?" AND BRENDON GOES "HEY, THIS WAS A GROUP EFFORT --" AND SPENCER KISSES HIM. AND THEN RYAN GOES, "WAIT, ARE WE DOING PRE-WEDDING KISSES? SPENCER!" SO JON KISSES HIM.

"JON AND BRENDON GOT THE MOST KISSES," SPENCER COMPLAINS, AND BRENDON BURSTS INTO GIGGLES AGAIN, AND EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE FINE.

UNTIL SOMEONE STARTS PLAYING THE EMPIRIAL MARCH RIGHT BEFORE THEY WALK DOWN THE BEACH TOGETHER, AND SPENCER YELLS, "GODDAMMIT, URIE, YOU SAID YOU WOULDN'T." AND BRENDON HIDES BEHIND JON AND SAYS, "SORRY, SORRY, I COULDN'T HELP IT, SPENCE, IT'S TOO AWESOME."

AND JON JUST CALMLY SAYS, "THAT IS SO NOT THE WEIRDEST THING THAT'S GOING TO HAPPEN TODAY," AND THEN RYAN SAYS "WEDDING HEADBANDS AND SCARVES!" AND JON SAYS, "SEE?" AND SPENCER SIGHS A LITTLE, BECAUSE HE LOVES HIS BIG GAY FAILBOAT BAND, AND DRAGS THEM ALL DOWN THE AISLE.

I WOULD SAY THE END, BUT IT'S TOTALLY NOT, BECAUSE THEY LIVED IN HAPPY, MARRIED, FAILBOAT BLISS FOR EVER AFTER. <3333333

AND THEN THEY LIVED FAILILY EVER AFTER!

♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥

THIS IS QUITE POSSIBLY THE BEST THREAD EVER. ILU GUYS SO MUCH. ♥_♥

YES.

agh;glkj;lgkj;aljsdf i fucking love this thread.

ZACK'S ALL "...WTF, WHY AM I CARRYING TO HUGE FUCKING COUGARS DOWN THE AISLE?" AND BRENDON'S LIKE, "IF YOU LOVE JON WALKER AT ALL, YOU WILL DO THIS."

*dies forever*

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