foxxcub | I'm evidently an enabler, plus some meta

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I'm evidently an enabler, plus some meta

synecdochic's Freedom's Just Another Word for Nothing Left to Lose. Which basically means I'm alternating between cooing with fangirl glee and bawling my eyes out. And honestly, I never thought I'd be wrecked by SGA fic, not like the way Oz fic wrecks me. Never. Gah.

But I guess every fandom has those stories that just feel so damn real that you have to take intermissions from reading in order to compose yourself from either weeping all over the place and frying your motherboard, or dying from pure, unadulterated love.

I'm curious about what fics break people, regardless of fandom. What is it about the fic that devastates you? Do all breaky fics have to have a character death, or a severe break-up (romantic or otherwise), or post-canon, melancholy tone? For me, the answer, for the most part, is yes, because as much as we love to lose ourselves in fic and the escapism it provides, sometimes the greatest joy comes from the ache of reality that the characters portray. I'm not saying breaky fics can't have hope or happy endings, but it's always that moment where your heart clutches in that good-yet-painful way that makes you realize you're being broken. And you love every moment. (At least I do. *g*)

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Of the top of my head, I can think of two in the Lost fandom that kill me every single time.

One of them is Reunion by

uberaeryn. That story broke me so bad I haven't read it since the first time. The end just guts me, and I can't get through it anymore, no matter how hard I try. I stop at a certain point and pretend it ended there. But it remains, to this day, one of the very best fics I have ever read.

The other is Let Go. I cry thinking about it sometimes. Even though I knew it was going to end that way, that it couldn't end any other way, I was positively crushed when it finally did. I remember you saying, at the time, it wasn't real until you posted it, and that was true for me to. I knew it was going to end that way, but once it really ended that way, like, I saw it in print, it was real, and I just lost it.

I'm sure there are a lot more, but I have a horrible memory, so those are the ones that stick out most vividly in my mind. This is a really good question, so I'm going to think on it, because I feel like I'm forgetting something.

Awww, sweets. *hugs you*

For me, it'll always either be Kathy's "Call It" or "On Being God" that's level me. I still remember crying uncontrollably the first time I read the former and thinking I'd never be able to write Jack/Sawyer again. ;)

Everyone and their blind grandma has recced that fic at some point or another, but I just can't bring myself to read it. Even the freaking TITLE makes me sad. I don't know if I could handle that level of angst.

To answer your question, I don't read much angst because it puts me in deep, dark depressions, but there are some pairings where anything that's not at least slightly angsty just doesn't feel right. Beecher/Keller is the very obvious example, but I always like an undertone of sadness or melancholy with Nathan/Peter (from Heroes) fic. Supernatural angst scares me, because that's ANGST IN ALL CAPS, but

esorlehcar's Down to the End 'verse (http://esorlehcar.livejournal.com/445945.html#dtte) is one of my favorite things in the world (probably 'cause it's got a happy ending).

And then there are novel-length stories like Omiai (http://members.shaw.ca/waytoomuchplor/omiai.htm) which have that perfect build-up of pain that hurts so bad but only makes it better when things finally work out. That's my favorite kind of story to read in all kinds of fiction, hands down.

I think that's what surprised me the most about this fic; normally with SGA fic and McShep, I read them for the warm fuzzies and/or to put a smile on my face. Sometimes there's angst, sure, but for the most part I don't walk away feeling like my heart has sort of died (like with so much B/K stuff). But to be honest, "Freedom" is actually a hopeful story, just with a very bittersweet aftertaste. I highly recommend you trying to read it eventually, especially if you love Rodney.

Not all B/K needs to have angst--I am ALL about porny, porny fic that has little to no angst, just Chris being a ball of sex and Toby being powerless against it. :D

Um, this is quite possibly the best post ever, in which I kinda sorta write kid!fic and/or prove that I am incapable of writing in a fandom without somehow writing my OTPs as teenagers. AND THEN MY MADNESS SPREADS. \o/

Yay! I'm so happy everyone's having fun with it. It makes me all kinds of joyful, because it's kind of an example of what I love about fandom--people having fun, bouncing ideas off each other, taking riffs and running with them... Yes. So much love. *smishes you*

Do all breaky fics have to have a character death, or a severe break-up (romantic or otherwise), or post-canon, melancholy tone?

I think so, but they also need to walk a line between breaky and purply and melodramatic, when the language (not necessarily the plot) is too extreme. I love it when a writer can pull me through the painful part of a story, and I have to keep going because it's too desperately beautiful to stop. The best ones of all, for me (because I love angst, but honestly can't handle deathfic), are the ones where you come out at the end to happiness or hope or something like them, that one moment, when everything resolves itself, or resolves itself insofar as it can... *whiffle* I just love that.

This sort of gives me something to aim for in my sgabigbang fic :D Speaking of which... *rushes madly off*

You know, though, this was actually the best kind of deathfic in a way, because it's never melodramatic or thrust upon you, just simply hanging in the shadows throughout. But like you said, even though I had to stop several times to compose myself, I couldn't stop completely because the story itself is too wonderful to let go.

OMG, yay bigbang fic! SO many people on my flist are writing for that...I think I'm going to have to call in sick on the day the fics go live. :D

(P.S. Are you going to do

mcshep_match?! *begs*)

Isn't "Freedom..." awesome? Have you read "Your Cowboy Days Are Over"? Because if you want wrecked, that's it in spades. Ugh. Broken. Must go find emotional glue. (Aka sleep)

It's so utterly amazing, I still can't adequately expression my love for it.

And who wrote the "Cowboy" fic? I didn't see it listed on

synecdochic's website...

Er, expression = express.

Your Cowboy Days Are Over (Mammas, Don't Let Your Babies Grow Up To Be Cowboys) (http://www.butcheredart.net/Fiction/YourCowboyDays.html)

And I can't rec this without giving the following warning: this will break you. It's a beautiful story, and very true to John, and the glimpses of Rodney (though Rodney's not dead, he's just absent) are very Rodney, there is no happiness here. You sit there for the majority of the time going "oh... oh how horrific... oh my god." I'd classify it as one of my favorite post-apocalyptic fics. I won't give away the plot any more than that, but yeah... Freedom had humor and an uplifting tone, this one? Does not. Which isn't to say that there aren't ANY laughs, because I think there are a few, but predominantly? No.

Oh and it's not a

synecdochic fic, it's a

samdonne fic.

Hooooly crap, thanks for the rec. I shall save it for when I'm ready to be wrecked again.

Off-topic but: have you seen the trailer for "The Golden Compass"?

The only trailer I've seen is the one that came out a month or so ago, the one with all the conceptual drawings. Why, is there a new one? *is giddy*

This is the one that popped up on my flist and I thought of you: http://movies.yahoo.com/feature/thegoldencompass.html

Cool, thank you! :D

"Freedom's Just Another Word for Nothing Left to Lose" has got to be my favourite fic in perhaps any fandom. Every few months or so I find myself thinking about it again, and I always mean to rec it but I don't think I ever have. It's just so perfect in every way, that story, and utterly devestating. Fic hardly ever makes me cry but I remember that one did.

I read the DVD commentary today, and it makes the fic ten times better, if that's even possible! I'm still at the stage where I can't talk about certain scenes without tearing up; it's truly the little details that kill me in the end, like Rodney leaving the box of tissues on the shelf behind the seat of the girl who always cries in his seminar class. I realize that canon!Rodney is nowhere near as flushed out or complex as

synecdochic writes him here, but it nonetheless makes me love him as a character so very, very much.

Ok I'm not sure if anyone will actually this but i'm posting it anyway.

http://www.squidge.org/housefanfiction/archive/10/fadinglight.html

I stumbled across this story about a month ago and I can honestly say that it is the only fic that has moved me to tears, it isn't even a huge dramatic piece but I was openly weeping by the end of it the writing is that good.

It is called "Fading Light and Watching the Lights Fade" and it is from the House MD fandom [it's slighty House Wilson but more friends then lovers].

If anyone does read this can you contact me with your thoughts on it? I haven't shown it to anyone else and I would like to know if anyone else was affected like me

I don't watch House at all, or I'd read it! And it's usually the very subtle, less dramatic pieces that always get me, too. :)

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I'm evidently an enabler, plus some meta

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