keg stands around the arkenstone

[foxxcub]

HAPPY NEW YEAR, FLIST! Hooooomg, I am exhausted. So, so exhausted. I got back from Texas on New Year's Eve (Galveston was lovely, but my aunt and uncle--i.e. my dad's sister and brother, one of whom is still recovering from lung cancer--are elderly and not in the best health, so the trip was long and tiring and depressing on many levels), then turned right around and went out to a fancy dinner with Mr. Foxx that included bottomless champagne. THEN, right after midnight, the couple at the table beside us (whom Mr. Foxx swore was Dick Cheney and his wife, the resemblance was UNCANNY) started buying shots for everyone. Needless to say, we ended up literally stumbling up the street at 2:00am like a couple of frat bros and buying a room at the nearest hotel to pass out in. I was hungover as FUCK yesterday, and we still had a two hour drive home. :(((( I haven't unpacked, my house is kind of a disaster area, and I am also getting sick again. I am also back at work for the first time in a week and a half. :((((((

ANYWAY, SPEAKING OF FRAT BROS, CAN WE TALK ABOUT THE HOBBIT AND THE DRUNKEN FRAT BROS OF MIDDLE EARTH? Or more specifically, Fili and Kili, who basically took over my brain over the Christmas holiday. I literally spent every waking moment not entertaining family reading any and all things Fili/Kili, aka DURINCEST. For the first time, I've reading everything under a pairing tag on AO3. Yes, I know, and I don't want to hear it. THEY ARE HARD TO RESIST, OKAY???

LOOK, YOU GUYS.

This is Fili and Kili (as played by Dean O'Gorman and Aidan Turner):



Fili is the older of the two brothers. Kili is the baby and loves archery, beer, and his bro.

THEY ARE BB DWARVES (no, seriously, they are canonically like 17 and 19) FOLLOWING THEIR UNCLE THORIN (who is played by the fucking delicious Richard Armitage) ON AN ADVENTURE!!





SEXY DWARVES WITH SWAGGER.

I mean, when I say dwarves are the drunken frat bros of Middle Earth, I am not joking. THIS VIDEO IS BASICALLY THE FIRST HALF OF THE MOVIE. I'm sure if Bilbo had had Petron on hand there would have been shots involved.

FTR, Durincest in general can involve Thorin with these two--threesome fic is not uncommon! However, I'm more into the brothers themselves and Thorin just being the exasperated, put-upon uncle who shakes his head at his nephews' shenanigans. I love these bbs a lot, but they are really dumb sometimes.

Now, there's not a whooooole lot of fic on these two currently? But there are some real gems, especially on The Hobbit kink meme. Pretty much anything by sospes is amazing:

* With You By My Side - Deals with the fallout of Fili becoming king of Erebor instead of Thorin.
* Stoke the Fire - Kili and Fili hate each other. SO GREAT.
* Heat - Possessive!Kili uuuuuugh
*** Those Who Wait - THIS is the fic I'd probably have anyone read first if you're wanting to get into this pairing. So, so perfect, and the Fili voice is fantastic and heartbreaking.

Other recs on AO3:

* in places deep (where dark things sleep) by Liu
* The World is Ahead (But Tonight We Sleep) by archae_ology (SLEEPOVER AT BAG END!)
* On the Road by listedheart (PORN)

You can also troll the Durincest tag on Tumblr, because ARRRRRRT. THE ART, PRECIOUSSSSS.



by captainhumprey on Tumblr


by trazolibre on Tumblr


from here


from NiJole-teh-drac on Deviantart


And yes, RPS exists, because Jesus Christ we are only human, y'know??



/SOBBING

Comments

[sparky77.livejournal.com]

I have been wavering on wanting to see the Hobbit, but the adorableness of this post is pushing me towards the 'go see it!' side of things.

[foxxcub.livejournal.com]

GO SEE IIIIIIIIIIIIIT!!!! (3D is okay, but 2D is just as good, trust me.)

[maple-mahogany.livejournal.com]

They were so gorgeous in that movie! AND TWO MORE TO GO! My mom read the Hobbit to me when I was five and I loved Fili and Kili best of all. ♥

I saw you flailing about them over the holiday and I had so many questions for you but I didn't know if you know the canon? Didn't know where you were with 'spoilers' and Twitter is a terrible medium for conversations like that.

[foxxcub.livejournal.com]

If you're wanting to know if I've been spoiled for the end, yes, I have been. /o\ I am choosing to be ignorant, though!

[maple-mahogany.livejournal.com]

Oh good! (that you know)

I was worried for you but helpless to stop it! *clings*

[cthonical.livejournal.com]

/bellyflops onto post









Let's just talk about how much I like the fanon about dwarves being like penguins and only loving one person ever in their whole lives and how much I think things like shotgunning need to be written, and ignore everything about how this canon ends.

[foxxcub.livejournal.com]

OH GOD WHAT WOULD THEIR DAEMONS BE???????

[cthonical.livejournal.com]

/SCREAMING INTERNALLY OMG

sdhdskfjdsfds I have no idea... smallish things that would be happy underground, seeing as they're dwarves? MAYBE THEIR DAEMONS HAVEN'T SETTLED YET BECAUSE THEY'RE STILL SUCH BABIES FOR THEIR RACE?

But alllll the HDM AUs forever okay, especially if they involve illicit daemon touching.

[foxxcub.livejournal.com]

NOW I AM PICTURING FILI WITH AN ADORABLE GROUND HOG.

[cthonical.livejournal.com]

[hypertwink.livejournal.com]

I read a fic somewhere that takes note that Kili has an atypical weapon for a dwarf. So...I'm thinking that while most of them would have land-based (and/or burrowing) daemons like moles or badgers or whatnot, Kili would probably have a bird or something elf-esque and elegant like a gazelle =)

[foxxcub.livejournal.com]

...Oh my god, this AMAZING.

[schizojunkie.livejournal.com]

I wait and pine for the frat boy au you mentioned on Tumblr. Cannot get the image of Fili and Kili streaking across campus after having stolen the lacrosse teams' championship trophy bec all that is how you get initiated into Delta Epsilon and it has nothing to do whatsoever that Thraduil is the captain of the lacrosse team nope

[foxxcub.livejournal.com]

CURRENTLY DISCUSSING FILI AND KILI PLAYING GAY CHICKEN.

[schizojunkie.livejournal.com]

Gay chicken in the shower gay chicken in the dorms gay chicken on the kitchen counter top. By gay chicken I assume you mean hot gay sex?

But ok really fumbling first time fics and cognitive dissonance self crises fics where are you all??

[hypertwink.livejournal.com]

Kili! Fili! Thorin! That's how I write now about anything Hobbit-related -- all in caps, and basically unintelligible. lol I liked Aiden as Mitchell but as Kili, I adore his fucking little prostethic-laden face. I maintain that he's even more attractive in dwarf drag than he is irl.

I really need some The Hobbit icons.

[foxxcub.livejournal.com]

He makes a RIDICULOUSLY attractive dwarf, it's true.

[hypertwink.livejournal.com]

Anyway, because of this post, I tried googling Dean (and Aidan) so I found that I already watched Dean in a gay drama where he was the secret boyfriend of a married Maori leader. I completely forgot about it but then again, I watched iy because of Pana Hema Taylor (of Spartacus). It's called Kawa.

[themostepotente.livejournal.com]

THIS POST ♥ AGREED SO MUCH ♥

I was getting lonely out here in my Hobbit love. I've tried a quick Thorin/Thranduil. Methinks I could def try Kili/Fili <333

Have any prompts?

[foxxcub.livejournal.com]

Prompts!!! cthonical and I just want a lot of porn where they ~learn things together as;dfksfks; *___*

[lousy-science.livejournal.com]

Happy New Year! And I am gobsmacked that Dean O'Gorman is in The Hobbit - I remember him from shonky teen movies in NZ. Bless.

[foxxcub.livejournal.com]

O M G DYING NOW I WANT TO KNOW WHAT THESE ARE. /o\

[lousy-science.livejournal.com]

Even more exciting - try and track down this queer short film he was in years ago, I seem to recall it being rather sweet http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0300484/

[sunn-doyouknow.livejournal.com]

OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD FOXX. If you love Dean O'Gorman, pleeeeease tell me you have seen The Almighty Johnsons? He is so smoking hot and terribly self-centered and it's amazing.

[foxxcub.livejournal.com]

NOOOOOOOO I KNOW NOTHING OF THIS!!!

[cthonical.livejournal.com]

OMG ALEESHA IT'S A NZ TV SHOW ABOUT A BUNCH OF BROTHERS WHO ARE ACTUALLY NORSE GODS fyi O'Gorman is naked in the first ep, possibly relevant to your interests.

[sunn-doyouknow.livejournal.com]

OOOOOOOOHHHHH MYYYYY GOOOOODDDDDDDD, IT IS THE MOST AMAZING SHOW.


(copied from wikipedia): The show follows a student named Axl Johnson, who on his 21st birthday discovers his family members are reincarnated Norse gods. The problem is, they don't have full control of their powers and it is up to Axl (the reincarnation of Odin) to restore them and ensure the family's survival by finding the reincarnation of Odin's wife, Frigg. Matters are complicated by the presence of three Norse goddesses who are trying to find Frigg before the Johnsons do to prevent the restoration of the gods' powers (which would vault them above the goddesses), as well as an antagonistic reincarnation of Norse god Loki.

Dean plays Anders (who is the reincarnation of Bragi, the god of poetry) and 99% of the time he uses his powers to sweet talk the ladies into dropping their drawers. He's a narcissistic dickhead and I love it! I can upload the episodes for you, or point you towards links at ihearttvshows if you want?

[foxxcub.livejournal.com]

*________________*

[johanirae.livejournal.com]

THANK YOU You have made me morning with these Fili Kili fix!
I worship the casting director because ZOMG I think this pairing probably ensnared me as soon as two brothers can apparently be so OCCUPIED doing SOMETHING... that they didn't notice a loud troll running by and stealing two ponies *leer*

[foxxcub.livejournal.com]

RIGHT?? YOU HAD ONE JOB, GUYS. ONE JOB.

[wordsalone.livejournal.com]

The dwarves are the best! They are so much fun. I told my bf that I like them more than the fellowship.

I also spent most of the movie smacking Steve when actors I love showed up. Aidan!!!! I love him so much, Richard too, and it makes me happy to see them on the big screen. Hurrah!

[foxxcub.livejournal.com]

He is so beautiful. ;________;

[wordsalone.livejournal.com]

And his accent. UNF.

[foxxcub.livejournal.com]

He's Irish, yes?

[wordsalone.livejournal.com]

Yesssssssssss.

[foxxcub.livejournal.com]

SOOOOOOOOOOB.

And apparently Dean O'Gorman is a New Zealander, fml.

[wordsalone.livejournal.com]

Everyone sounds different and no one gives a fuck. I love it.

Have you seen North and South?

[foxxcub.livejournal.com]

No! Ugh, is that another thing I need to watch??

[wordsalone.livejournal.com]

Yessssss. It's the first thing I saw Richard Armitage in. It reminds me of Pride and Prejudice in some ways, but JFC. He's so perfect.

FEELS.

[foxxcub.livejournal.com]

OMGGGG I am wiki-ing this story immediately.

[wordsalone.livejournal.com]

It's amahhhhhzing. Just saying. I want to punch some characters all the time, but it's worth it for him.

[maleyka.livejournal.com]

YESSSSSSSS NORTH & SOUTH IS AMAZING

[crowie.livejournal.com]

YESSS IT'S SO GOOD.

Richard Armtage has been one of my fav actors for a while and it's SO MUCH FUN to see his profile go up now with the Hobbit :D :D

[healingmachine.livejournal.com]

I AM FAVOURITING ALL OF THIS.

[shutyourface.livejournal.com]

I said this to twitter but I need someone to write some kind of Fellowship/Company fusion fic where Merry & Pippin and Fili & Kili run around together being all young and shenanigating and annoying their elders and whatnot.

[foxxcub.livejournal.com]

...Oh my god, yes. *___________*

[danacias.livejournal.com]

Dean O'Gorman and Aidan Turner are, no joke, gorgeous. It is unfair.

[foxxcub.livejournal.com]

10000000000% UNFAIR ;_______;